Knowing the warning signs of a toxic relationship is a very important part of a happy life.
Sometimes we are too close to a relationship to recognize the signs that it has turned into something damaging.
Contempt
One of the hardest to recognize but biggest red flags is the presence of contempt in a relationship.
Daria Shevtsova
Contempt is defined as the feeling that a person is beneath consideration, worthless or deserving scorn.
Signs of contempt include eye rolling, unkind words, sarcasm and dismissal.
Contempt can be hard to recognize because its easily explained away.
Think about your interactions with your person.
Do one or both of you speak to each other sarcastically?
Do you talk behind each others backs?
Do you roll your eyes when your partner tries to make a point?
The number one killer of relationships is contempt.
When people treat each other contemptuously, the respect in the relationship is gone.
And without respect, nothing else matters.
So take a good hard look at how you and your partner treat each other.
If there is contempt, then your relationship is most likely a toxic one.
Obsession
Many of my clients who are in toxic relationships struggle with obsession over their partners.
They want their partners to be in constant contact.
They stress out when texting habits change in any way.
They give up everything in their life to be with their person.
They twist themselves into pretzels to like the other.
Healthy relationships are based on the mutual ability to respect and trust each other.
And obsession is toxican unhealthy attachment to someone can cause nothing but pain.
Unkind words
Do you or your partner lash out at each other verbally?
Do words spoken, either calmly or in anger, inflict pain?
Is the language laced with profanity, words that belittle and make you feel very much less than?
Any physical pain that is inflicted on a partner is a sign of a toxic relationship.
Healthy relationships involve no physical pain of any kind.
Words might be said in anger but not derisively and certainly not involving any physical pain.
Possessiveness
One big indicator of a toxic relationship is when one partner controls the other.
One of my clients had a partner who had complete control of her actions.
He also told her that only he was allowed to end the relationship.
She took it all for granted and assumed thats just how relationships were.
People in healthy relationships do not take a stab at control the other person.
People in healthy relationships give each other the freedom to live their lives and be their own person.
People who control everything their partner does are people who create toxicity and discord in a relationship.
Are you given the freedom to be who you want to be in your relationship?
If not, your relationship might be toxic, and its important that you recognize it.
Mixed messages
Another hard-to-spot indicator of a toxic relationship is mixed messages.
Mixed messages are messages that go one way and then another.
Perhaps they tell you they love you and then treat you horribly.
Mixed messages are incredibly difficult and confusing.
In a healthy relationship,two people love each otherwithout exception.
Sure, things can get topsy turvy sometimes, but still the mutual respect and admiration is present.
No one makes the other feel bad with flip-flopping feelings and yo-yoing behaviors.
Is your relationship affected by mixed messages?
If it is then, you may very well be in a toxic relationship!
Often, when we are in the midst of strife, it can be hard to see the truth.
If its not, get out NOW before its too late.
You have one and only one life.
