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Updated 5 years ago,September 17, 2020
Your attachment style is formed when youre a child.
My parents werent negligent, but anxiety has always run in my family.
I have an anxious attachment style when it comes to lovealways have.
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But coming to this realization about myself wasnt an easy one.
It took a lot of deep reflection and reading about attachment theory.
Through this work, I pinpointed what parts of my anxious attachment are detrimental to my relationship.
I dont plan to rid myself of my anxious attachment style.
I know theres nothing wrong with me or anyone who has an anxious attachment style.
But I do want to be a great partner.
I want to grow with my boyfriend and not succumb to the notion this is simply who I am.
And perhaps what has worked for me will also work for you.
To confirm that doesnt happen, you might be overbearing, jealous, and untrusting.
Use the time to talk about any concerns you may have in the relationship.
Take the time to listen to your partner and ask them to do the same.
Ask yourself why it is youre about to ask your question.
Is it to understand your partners feelings more or are you seeking reassurance?
I suggest doing the same in your relationship.
Dont assume you’re able to read your partners mind
Instead, ask questions for clarification.
Plus, your partner probably wont respond well if you accuse them of feeling a way they dont.
Communication is key when relieving a worried mind; simply ask them whats up.
Anxiously attached people tend to be more empathic, loyal, and loving with their partners.
You are most likely willing to work with your partner to solve any problems that arise.
Your capacity to let love in is most likely very high.
For a lot of people, self-care acts like taking a bath or painting their nails works well.
For me, Im more of a take-a-walk kind of person.
I take a stroll in the morning when Ive had a particularly anxious week.
I also love to draw, read, and go for a swim.
Rather, it causes you more distress than, say, a securely attached person might feel.
And if you arent aware of things, it might cause problems for you in an otherwise great relationship.
