Why are you texting me so late?"
Ill get there 45 minutes early to ensure I have enough time to buy tickets and snacks.
Going somewhere with a friend?
Isabela Martins
Plus, what if theres some freak traffic event that holds me up for 20 minutes?
2.Why are you texting me so late?
New socks are always cool too.
Also I make people food when they are having a rough time.
Move a fraction of an inch to grab the remote or something similarly small?
All groans are involuntary.
I groan a lot.
I dont know why.
I dont know when it started.
I dont know if itll stop.
Co workers give me a good busting about it too.
OK so now I need to go to the drawer here and grab the cutting board.
Wheres the good knife?
So I can stab my eyes out cause Im like an old man already.
8.Sneak out of parties to go home.
9.I dont know the names of current famous people like actors and actresses.
10.Catch the early bird specials at local restaurants.
First to arrive for Happy Hour.
Tell the neighborhood thugs to Get Off My Lawn and let them know I mean it.
Take well deserved naps in the afternoon.
Make fun of younger folks that cant keep up with me when walking the mall.
11.Watch everything with the subtitles on.
We get cranky if an unavoidable errand interrupts this.
14.Go to bed at 9pm.
15.Turn down the music in my car so I can see better.
Also listen to CDs in my car occasionally.
16.Walk into a room with no idea what I was intending to do.
Also a bountiful quantity of Dont Give a Fuck for mid-20s.
17.Drinking red wine while cooking.
Listening to relaxing music while reading.
18.Taking up a booth in a restaurant by myself.
Book/newspaper and coffee at hand.
19.I wear bedroom shoes (better for foot health than hardwood floors in bare feet).
I could go on.
21.I drink gallons of tea .
Like a lot of it.
22.Being annoyingly slow when paying for things.
24.I expect to go on a few dates with a woman before sex.
25.Set my keys in the same spot so I always know where to find them.
27.I dont understand kids taste in music nowadays.
Im still in my 20s.
28.I wear earplugs in loud places.
Im not damaging my hearing ANY MORE than I already have done.
29.Wake up to pee every fucking night.
30.Talking to myself and saying thats a good deal while Im at the dollar tree.
31.I prefer to use cash for my day to day transactions.
33.If a place is unnecessarily noisy.
I dont go there.
I like my peace and quiet.
36.Prefer music in the car decently loud and not blaring.
37.View anyone be younger than me with thinly veiled suspicion.
38.Put my glasses on the end of my nose and look over them at you.
39.Bitch about the temperature setting on the thermostat and all the lights being on with nobody in the room.
40.Get annoyed at new things I dont understand.
41.Ive gotten into succulents/cacti.
Quite enjoy listening to jazz music sometimes.
43.When its too rainy or icy outside, I go to the mall for my daily walk.
44.I cut open tubes of toothpaste when they are empty to get more out of them.
I have also caught myself reusing ziploc baggies.
Not sure if this is classified as old or cheap but I learned both from my Grandma.
But to spice it up I play some rap to get a good pace going.
46.Get angry when children scream and run around loudly in stores.
Its not a god damn playground.
47.Ive started making involuntary noises when exerting minimal effort.
I peek out my blinds when I hear noise to see what is going on.
I use the word yearn outside of a Seinfeld reference.
I make Seinfeld references.
48.I refer to my knees as my good knee And my bad knee.
49.Use blankets on the couch even when its warm.
50.My brother has been an old man since he was little.
…My brother might be Bobby Hill, now that I think about it.
51.Use too many ellipses in texts.
I come home ravenous and just cant help myself.
How people eat dinner at 8 is beyond me.
I used to think as a kid, I would never do this.
Damn, do I love a good nap.
56.I rarely stay out late on weekends.
Id rather start my day at 11 or noon and be home by 8.
57.I wear my pants unreasonably high on my waist.
59.I pat myself down before I leave the house.
Wallet… yep, keys… yep, phone… yep.
I very much dislike being late to stuff.
If you tell me to meet you at 6.
I will be there at 6.
If you want to go to dinner at 7.
I will be there with table at exactly 7.
If you didnt want me to be there until 8, dont tell me to be there until 8.
