If you’re looking for some entertaining pirate jokes then you’ve come to the right place.
Treasure these jokes and share them with your friend and family!
These pirate jokes arrrrrre too good not to share.
Luke Southern
By
Updated 2 months ago,March 4, 2025
Ahoy, matey!
Weve also included a whole section for pickup lines and knock-knock jokes too.
Treasure these jokes and share them with your friend and family!
These pirate jokes arrrrrre too good not to share.
Cheesy and Funny Pirate Jokes
How do pirates know they exist?
They think, therefore they ARRRRRRR!!!
3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.
What do pirates wear in the winter?
How do you turn a pirate furious?
Take away the p.
Whats a pirates favorite part of a song?
Who gets all their movies for free?
Whats a pirates favorite exercise?
Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?
Because booty is only shin deep!
What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?
What do you call a stupid pirate?
Why couldnt the pirates play cards?
Because the captain was standing on the deck!
How do pirates like to cook their steaks?
What happens if you take the p out of a pirate?
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
An arm and a leg.
Why is pirating so addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.
Whats a pirates favorite letter?
Youd think it would be arrr, but its actually the C!
Whats a pirates favorite kind of fish?
Swordfish
What do you call a pirate with three eyes?
Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
Because he was standing on the deck.
Why are maths teachers secretly pirates?
Because theyre always trying to find X!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!
How did the pirate find out he needed glasses?
He took an aye exam!
Whats a pirates favourite throw in of music?
What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
Why are pirates called pirates?
What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer?
Whats the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian?
Aye matey years old!
What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
How much does it cost for a Pirate to get his ears pierced?
Bout a Buccaneerrrrr( buck an ear)
What did the first mate see down the toilet?
Whyd the pirate go to the Apple store?
He needed a new ipatch.
What is a pirates favorite doll?
What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing,it just waved.
How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
Right where ye left him.
Why couldnt the 12-year-old see a pirate movie?
It was rated RRRRRR.
Why dont pirates go to strip clubs?
Because they already have all the booty!
Whats a pirates favorite letter?
Why did the pirate buy an eye patch?
Because he couldnt afford an iPad!
What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
Why did the pirate cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why dont pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because theyll just wash up on shore later.
Whats a pirates favourite fish dish?
What does a dyslexic pirate say?RRRRRRA!
A pirate goes to the doctor to have the spots on his arm examined.
The doctor says: Theyre benign.
The pirate replies: no, no doc, there be 11.
I counted them before I came here.
What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.
Pirate Jokes About Drinking
Whats the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One has a rumbling tummy, and the others a tumbling rummy.
A pirate walks into a bar with a big ships wheel down his pants.
The pirate replies, Aaargh, its driving me nuts!!
Why does a pirate prefer to drink in a bar that serves rum, instead of gin?
Because it has molasses.
What does the pirates say to motivate each other during a race?
Rum bottle, RUM!
The bartender says sure, but asks Why do you have a peg leg?
We were slaughtering the sailors of the ship we were salvaging, and one got a lucky slice in.
The bartender then asks And why the eye patch?
Nay says the pirate Twas the first day with the hook.
How much rum does it take to make a pirate drunk?
What did the pirate say to his mate when his rum was stolen?
Fuck you thats mine.
Knock Knock Pirate Jokes
Knock knock!
Im garden the treasure!
Pirate Jokes As Pick Up Lines
Yo ho ho!
Ive got a bottle of rum and a penchant for making drunken mistakes.
Can I help making your roger a little more jolly?
Permission to fire my cannon through your portholes?
Is that a hornpipe in your pocket or are ye happy to me?
I know where you’re able to bury your treasure.
Lets head back to me ship and rock the boat.
Wanna see the worlds best pirate booty?
Your Jolly Roger aint the only thing yell be raisin tonight.
Arrrrrrrrre ye free tonight, after bedtime?
Care if my parrot watches while ye board me ship, matey?
Mines ready for pillaging.
As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, Bring me my red shirt!
Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties.
Once again the battle was on.
However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the days occurrences.
The men sat in silence marvelling at the courage of such a man.
The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.
The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, Bring me my brown pants!
We hope you enjoyed these pirate jokes!
