I get a lot of heat when I write about what women are doing wrong.
I get accused of blaming women, of defending men.
But Im doing neither.
KoolShooters
My job isnt to excuse or blame, my job is to share and enlighten.
Chasing him
There is never a good reason to chase anything.
And you will never have to chase that which is meant for you.
The vast majority of the time, if a guy likes you… he will do something about it.
He will pursue you, hell ask you out, and he will be consistent.
Only guys who are somewhat interested act that way.
This does not need to be obvious and over the top.
He may reply when you reach out, but he never initiates.
You basically end up in a passive-reciprocation loop and eventually the relationship withers away.
Now Im not saying it’s crucial that you be totally passive here.
you might absolutelybe bold when you feel like it.
Sometimes it can be sexy when a woman initiates.
But after that, she needs to leave it alone and give him some space to pursue her.
That is how men bond and develop feelings.
That is what causes them to invest.
If he doesnt have the space to do that, youll be the only one invested in this relationship.
Putting him on a pedestal.
But when you do this, youre usually investing in a fantasy more than an actual person.
Putting someone on a pedestal is not flattering, its alarming.
It just feels wrong because it doesnt feel deserved.
No one is perfect, and we all know that.
What we all crave as humans is a genuine connection.
And you cant connect on a real level if you arent seeing him as a real person.
They dont want a woman who just expects them to do certain things and be a certain way.
One of the most essential things to understand about men is that they crave appreciation greatly.
This is essentially every mans core love language.
And even more than that, men need to feel appreciated for who they are.
Stressing over the relationship.
You cant force someone to love you or reciprocate certain feelings.
Dont stress over where it all went wrong or what you should have done differently.
Focus on yourself, focus on being a better version of yourself.
Focus on being happy and complete.
Focus on feeling great about your life and about who you are.
This is what really captures a mans attention.
Not stressing over him and trying to do anything in your power to win him over.
Worrying sucks the joy out of a relationship and creates a tense, uneasy environment.
Something like 90% of communication is nonverbal.
Relationships really arent that complicated.
Here is how this scenario usually goes down.
If he feels that he cant, he wont want to be with her.
Being negative isnt just a man-repeller, its a people-repeller.
No one wants to be sucked into that energy.
Practice being grateful for what you have in life.
If you want to complain, you will always find things to complain about.
Ill admit, Im a talker.
It took me a while to learn the art of just shutting up and listening.
Some of it is a feeling of needing to prove yourself.
And of course, all this talking and proving yourself just reeks of desperation.
