By
Updated 7 months ago,September 25, 2024
Some people are just good at relationships.
The people who are good at relationships arent necessarily more beautiful or charming.
They dont use some sort of voodoo or follow ridiculous rules.
Kirya
Its something else, something much more innocent and easily achievable, for real.
So lets look at what it takes to be good at relationships.
It literally can feel like life or death.
Our emotions are turned up to the max and we feel on edge and slightly terrified.
And then comes the stressing and the analyzing.
I mean, you gotta do it to save yourself from being blindsided, right?
Most people get so caught up in protecting themselves from getting hurt they cant even enjoy the relationship.
And the relationship is far from an enjoyable experience.
People who are good at relationships dont treat relationships like the end all be all for their happiness.
They approach a situation with confidence and calm.
They know they have a lot to offer and if this guy sees it, great!
If not, thats fine too, someone else will.
Its not the end of the world and the end of any shred of self-esteem if they experience rejection.
Essentially, people who are good at relationships know they will be OK no matter what happens.
They are just OK.
They can be present and just let things unfold naturally without force or an agenda.
Dating is a discovery process, thats all.
Its not a measure of your worth or your lovability.
They cant be present and just enjoy getting to know the other person.
They panic over how he feels andif he will commit.
If he doesnt want to commit to her, it means shes unworthy and unlovable.
If he does, shes worthy.
Talk about having a lot at stake!
Confident people dont do this.
They bring their happiness into the relationship, instead of extracting happinessfromthe relationship.
A relationship cant ever make you happy.
It canenhanceyour feelings of happiness, but it cantbeyour happiness.
People who usually fail at relationships feel miserable in their lives and believe the reason is because theyre single.
So all they need to do is find a man and problem solved!
But being miserable is the exact thing that will repel men away from you.
That misery creates a vibe that no oneman or womanwants to be around.
People who are good at relationships dont expect relationships to make them happy.
They find happiness outside of the relationship.
They feel good about themselves and about their lives.
There isnt one prescription for how to achieve this.
Different people gain happiness from different things.
And despite what youve been told, itispossible to find happiness on your own.
People who are good at relationships make their own happiness a priority, rather than prioritizing finding a man.
As a result, men are immediately drawn to them and relationships unfold effortlessly.
Once theyre in a relationship, they dont abandon their former lives.
Ideas like: Im not pretty enough … Im not good enough …
The guys I want will never want me back …
I always screw things up … Im worthless … Im going to end up alone… etc.
Look, nothing is going to work out until something does.
Thats just how it goes.
More than leading to a lifelong commitment, love leads to heartbreak.
When you internalize all that hurt, then you set yourself up to fail.
When you use it as an opportunity to grow, then you come out even better in the end.
People who are good at relationships respond instead of reacting
This is probably the most essential relationship skill.
This is mostly because theyve worked on themselves, another key component to being good at relationships.
They are able to take a few minutes, think about it, and thenrespond.
When you respond, you have a choice.
You see the situation and can decide how you want to handle it.
When you react, you have no choice.
People who are good at relationships dont constantly feel under attack so they arent always on the defensive.
They need that attention for their livelihood.
A needy person gives so that get.
She is nice to him so he will shower her with affection.
Suffice to say needy people are bad at relationships.
People who are good at relationships are able to give freely.
They dont show affection to stake a claim or get something back.
They do it because its a genuine expression of how they feel.
They dont need the other persons approval to make it feel OK.
Essentially, they can give and receive love freely and without agenda.
People who are good at relationships have worked on themselves
Honestly, this one encompasses them all.
People who are good at relationships have worked on themselves and have dealt with their issues.
None of us makes it out of childhood or adolescence unscathed.
Feelings dont just evaporate because they go unacknowledged.
Have you ever gotten irrationally angry over something relatively minor?
Those are your subconscious issues talking!
You may not even know what they are or where they came from, but theyre in there.
You have to deal with your damage.
Whether its a rough childhood or one too many heartbreaks, deal with the pain of your past.
Others might need a good therapist.
