The sentence above describes a superpower few people have.
Whats the superpower?Restraint.
Restraint from one action can be a springboard to a more useful one, e.g.
Daria Shevtsova
We live in an unrestrained world.
Its getting louder, angrier, and more chaotic and pretentious.
Hide Your Intelligence
A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
Demitri Martin
If youre a smart person, you might have the tendency to want toshow it off.
You want people to know youre smart.
Also, they dont want a mirror reflected on their own inadequacy.
If youre in a work setting, follow one of Robert Greenes 48 laws of powernever outshine the master.
Showing up your boss is a surefire way to make the relationship contentious (even if only subtly).
Showing people up in general means you lack an important throw in of intelligencesocial intelligence.
If you had social intelligence, youd know that letting other people take the spotlight makes them feel important.
And theyd connect that feeling of importance with being around you.
Its difficult for me.
Im tempted to correct people when I hear them say something incorrect.
I love talking about all the things I know.
But at times Ill catch myself and realize that nobody really wants to know how smart I am.
They want to know how I can play a role in their life that benefits them.
Its almost always better to understate your intelligence than overstate it.
Friedrich Nietzsche
We lie to ourselves a lot.One of the main lies we tell ourselves?
We think were open-minded.
On the whole, were not.
Youve cobbled together an identity based on narratives.
You tell yourself stories constantly, and the ones you repeat often become part of your personality.
Youre also prone to adopt narratives based on groups you belong to.
You do this because human beings are naturally tribal animals.
This is what you see in the political sphere right nowno ones budging.
Youre going to have to sit on the sidelines while everyone else bickers.
Dont even participate in the discourse.
you could only genuinely look to yourself to reshape any of the above.
Marcus Aurelius
You want to know a great trick for letting go of other peoples opinions?
Read a book about space or watch a Youtube video about it.
Right now, Im reading Stephen HawkingsA Brief History of Time.
The Milky Way is only one of the many galaxies in the local group.
Because human beings are the only known species arrogant enough to place themselves at the center of the universe.
The less its done, though, the freer you are.
Stop Placing Blame Altogether
If its in your control, why do you do it?
If its in someone elses control, then who are you blaming?
Marcus Aurelius
This is about taking ownership of your mind.
If you dont own your mind, someone else or circumstance will.
Owning your reactions to what happens to you gives you a source of power no one can corrupt.
If Im lucky, I catch myself and focus on the roleIplayed in the situation.
Youve heard this before.
Why add personal responsibility to this list?
Because its really, really hard and goes against our nature.
Sure, you might be able to convince the person you blamed theyre wrong, but at what cost?
Does that mean I always accept responsibility instantly?
Hell no, but being able to do it even some of the time goes a long way.
Stephen Covey
Have you ever been in a conversation where its clear no one is listening?
Each person talks and the others are waiting for a millisecond of silence to jump in.
This entire post has been about dialing back your tendencies.
Why is that important?
When youre a little more restrained in your actions and your thoughts, you become a better observer.
People love to talk.
Just sit there while they spill the tea.
Dont jump in the debate.Watch it while everyone reveals their cards.
Buddha
Books likeThink and Grow Richteach you to have an ultimate desire for wealth to get it.
Ambition can be good and necessary.It can also be poisonous.
When I focus too much on resultsoutputwriting becomes less fun.
It starts tofeel like work.
The only times Ive ever succeeded and felt good were byproducts of doing the work I enjoyed doing.
What status games are you playing right now?
What objects and circumstances are you lusting over?
Are you being controlled by a desire for the output or the need to do the input?
I have to remind myself constantly that I can be happy with what I have this second.
Better to just do the things I love right now and forget about the future.
And its even more insidious than most vices because we dont even consciously acknowledge that its a pleasure.
What if we stopped watching the news altogether?
If we did that, wed realize that while things are nowhere near perfect, the sky isnt falling.
you’ve got the option to probably see this in your own life.
The things we tend to take seriously at a high level (e.g.
I stopped reading the news and going on Twitter all the time.
Its not real life.
I realized I was getting riled up over nothing.
All the while there were plenty of things in my own life that needed tending to.
Get out of the outrage machine right now.
Its not worth your sanity.
Then, even in your own life, attempt to stop taking everything so seriously.
Focus on your career, but dont make your career your life.
Be prudent, save, budget, but dont become a worry wart.
Spend time with your friends and family without worrying much about anything beyond them.
Ive said this many times.
From the perspective of the universe, youre dead.
Clutching on the steering wheel of life gives you the illusion you have control.
You dont, really.
