That sort of thing.
But Im not talking about Katie and Justin down the street.
Im talking about Pennywise the Clown and the Babadook.
Gozilla x Kong: The New Empire / Warner Bros.
Did they get married yet?
Did their relationship crumble after they had a threesome with the Lipstick-Face Demon fromInsidious?
Anyway, there was something I was supposed to be doing today.
Something that got me thinking about the Babadook and Pennywise.
I was going to rank sci-fi monsters by how queer they are.
The Predator
This dreadlocked alien is only happy when its engaging in violence or terrorizing someone weaker than him.
20th Century Fox
This sounds like toxic hetero masculinity at its finest.
This is otherwise known as a death drop!
But sadly, the Death Angels have nothing else going for them.
Paramount Pictures
They all look the same and thus have no understanding of what being an outsider is like.
Verdict: Not queer!
That means that, statistically, 20% of all zombies would be at least bisexual.
Continental Distributing
However, Godzilla has also been purple in the past.
Blue, pink, purple …
These are the colors of the bisexual flag!
Warner Bros.
Thus, Godzilla is a bisexual icon.
That seems pretty queer to me, except for the part about harvesting humans to further their species.
The Thing
The Thing will mimic just about any living thing so that fit into its environment.
Every queer tries to pretend to be straight at one point or another.
However, the Thing isnt just a regular queer; its a theater queer!
Thats the queerest punch in of queer!
Universal Pictures
Miss Thing can act, mama, and it even does impersonations.
You just know that The Thing starred in its high schools production ofBye Bye Birdie.
A sexual demon with a mans voice and a womans name?
Warner Bros.
We have a queer winner.
