Their tactics arent blatant, but sneaky.
They leave you second guessing yourself.
By
Updated 4 years ago,March 8, 2021
Hello, climb into my sketchy white van.
Photo byRiccardo MiononUnsplash
Manipulation isnt always in your face.
Manipulative people arent bad.
In fact, youre probably highly skilled at it.
Empaths, codependents, and love addicts can manipulate to feel safe.
While this may be subconscious, other forms are deliberate.
Some manipulators dont care if you get hurt as long as they get what they want.
Its okay to take your time, to step more cautiously into new relationships and evaluate old ones.
Anytime someone saysanythingthat makes you shrink a little inside, stop dead in your tracks.
Ask yourself if theyre exhibiting any of these behaviors.
They give you no or little time to decide.
Manipulators invoke a false sense of urgency.
Theyll make it seem like you have to decide, right now when theres no emergency.
Theyre trying to force you into a decisionusually their decision.
This is how I got duped into my second car.
A manipulator knows how to make you feel uncomfortable.
You might picture intimidation as someone domineering over you, but this can be quieter.
If youve ever had anyone invade your personal space, you know how creepy this is.
Stand back Frank, I know what youve had for lunch.
They give compliments and praise.
The butter me up is a classic.
Be wary of compliments and praise that are over the top or come right before a request.
Another way manipulators use compliments is by comparing you with someone else.
Wow, youre amazing, my ex-girlfriend couldnt even cook.
While it may seem innocent, it can be a way to lull you into passivity.
Ive been hooked by this one.
Youre so happy and easy going, so many girls are mean and bitchy.Be cautious here.
They frequently saying theyre just joking after a rude comment.
People hide what they want to say behind humor all the time.
Laughing out loud (lol) is the quickest way to soften a blow.
People will also usejust jokingafter theyve dissed you and your mamma to hell and back.
You dress atrociously all the timejust jokingggg.
To make matters worse, theyll say you cant take a joke or youre too sensitive.
Dont let them fool you into feeling inferior.
They refuse to take accountability.
Manipulators and emotional abusers dont take responsibility for their behavior.
Theyll try every possible way to make it about you, not them.
Theyll guilt trip you, make you feel insane, and diminish your feelings.
The next thing you know, youre apologizing when theyre the ones whore wrong.
If you didnt want me to be late, you should have reminded me.
(The nerve, right?)
When you address your concerns they say theyrejust busy,or accuse you of being needy.
They use the youve changed line.
People will use your growth against you.
Theyre happy to see you in a place of stagnation.
They might even get upset when you have a go at improve yourself.
They use youve changed to guilt trip you or refuse to accept the person youve become.
How to defend yourself against manipulators and abusers.
I cant tell you how many times Ive felt this and ignored it because it seemedtoo much.
Even if youre someone that struggles with poor boundaries have faith, dont doubt yourself.
Identify the manipulators sneaky tactics so you’re free to address them.
Dont be afraid to call them out or act shocked or appalled at their behavior.
Stay encouragedyoure learning and getting better each day.
You dont have to be shamed or victimized into control, manipulation, or emotional abuse.
Youve already taken the first step by identifying some of the signs.
It will start to feel more familiar, and from there you will become empowered.
From there you continue to heal, and from there you grow.
