Defensiveness is just vulnerability in different clothing.
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Updated 8 years ago,June 16, 2017
1.
Mercilessly make fun of other people.
Mean Girls
People who participate in that kind of cruelty are wildly insecure and unhappy with themselves.
In some weird attempt to feel better, they lash out at anyone else who seems happy.
Remember, its never actually about you.
Unapologetically act like theyre better than you.
This person was SOOOO rude and essentially looked me up and down and (paraphrasing!)
was like, How dare a lowly plebeian like you to talk to me?
Mean Girls
I was so embarrassed.
I immediately internalized it and thought,wow, I do suck.
Everyone is ahead of me!Nah, fuck that noise.
Anyone who fronts that theyre better than you (even if they are) is covering up some insecurity.
Again, its not you.
Secure people dont feel like they need to prove their status.
Go on the immediate defense.
Now to be fair, we all get defensive aboutsomething.
I mean, uh, anyway.
We all have our things.
Defensiveness is just vulnerability in different clothing.
Agree to absolutely everything.
Dont get me wrong, some of us love ~~going with the flow~~*.
Personally, Im not a rock the boat kind of gal.
Id prefer to hop in and just ride the tide.
But if something is sincerely bothering me?
I will speak up.
I wasnt always like that.
But Ive gained enough sense of self to go for it, even when its a little uncomfortable.
Insecurity often tells you that no one cares.
If its bad enough, that feeling will loom over everything.
So, its not surprising that someone might just stay quiet.
5. have a go at one up you.
Have you ever told an awesome story and someone immediately stepped in to tell a better one?
Yeah, those are one-uppers.
Pure transparency, I occasionally dabble in this arena.
Usually, Im not aware of what Im doing, but, lets be real, itsalwaysabout attention.
And, for me, attention is something Im hungry for because it numbs some of my insecurities.
Nothing is ever good enough!
Something is always wrong.
Because, NEWSFLASH, life isnt perfect.
Someone finding issues with every little thing is likely trying to divert their insecurities into something else.
Always look for fault in other people.
We all have shit that wed rather not have.
Beingsoobsessed with someone else having shit wrong is weird.
Sounds like a coping mechanism.
Make people focus on someone else.
