Here are seven things you might be doing as a result:
1.
Apologizing more than you have to, even if no apology is needed.
Children of narcissistic parents tend to become fluent in saying sorry even for just their very existence.
God & Man
Its because theyve been taught by their parents that they are a burden.
This is especially true for female victims who are also socialized to be people-pleasing and accommodating.
When evaluating whether to apologize, ask yourself: Was I the cause of this in any way?
If not, replace your sorry with Thats unfortunate instead.
Hesitating to say no, because it might displease others.
You were punished and abused when you did refuse to comply to their demands.
Now, as an adult, saying no is a part of having healthy boundaries.
However, it can feel absolutely intimidating at first.
Doubting your own perceptions and second-guessing your intuition.
Although were highly sensitive and intuitive, weve also beengaslightedmost of our lives by abusers into thinking otherwise.
We tend to underestimate our own emotions and instincts while overvaluing the comfort of others.
Have you noticed similar toxic behaviors in this person as youve experienced with your parents?
Would you ever treat anyone the way this person is treating you?
And if not, would you feel uncomfortable witnessing them treating someone else in a similar manner?
These questions can help you to reconnect with your basic rights, to see the situation from multiple perspectives.
Checking in constantly about how someone else feels about you without tending to howyoureally feel about the person.
As a result, youre always on the lookout as to whether something has shifted or changed.
Youre always questioning the status of yourmost intimate relationships.
Do they deserve your energy and efforts?
If so, so be it!
Some people really are just horrible people, and thats okay that doesnt mean you have to tolerate them.
They key is discerning the difference.
Picking up on micro-signals of abandonment or displeasure.
Theyhadto become aware of these to survive and navigate sudden changes in their environment.
As an adult, youre highly intuitive about the motives of others as well as their true emotions.
You catch onto subtle shifts with incredible ease.
This gift of intuition can be used wisely to navigate social interactions, but it can also be overwhelming.
Taking your time to trust.
As a child you were violated, emotionally or even physically abused.
Your trust was taken advantage of, time and time again.
It is no wonder you have a hard time letting people in.
That doesnt make you wrong this is simply a testament to thetraumaof your experience.
Want more writing about the narcissist?
Read the bookPOWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuseby Shahida Arabi.
You might feel hypervigilant when you notice red flags.
Its okay to know that trust has to be earned.
Children of narcissists are chronically emotionally invalidated from a very early age.
They are conditioned to believe that their emotions dont matter or that their emotions make them defective.
They learn to suppress their anger and stifle their hurt.
Owning theirdark side(or what they perceive to be dark) can be frightening.
Dont give up hope.
