Get the big things right, but dont forget the little things.
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Updated 7 years ago,November 10, 2017
Long distance relationships are hard.
They never work out.
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Long distance relationships sure are hard.
That part isnt a lie.
But, if youre with the right person, they are definitely worth it.
When you start putting miles between you and your partner the relationship is going to get challenged.
You will learn a lot about your significant other.
I mean like really learn about them, down to their core.
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What you find may terrify you, surprise you, or excite you.
Mistakes will be made.
Oh yes, they will be made.
Your relationship is going to twist and grow in ways which may have never been possible.
But, theres hope.
Here are six tips:
1.
Discuss and decide upon your relational set up.
The word monogamous comes from mono meaning one, and gamous meaning having a specified number of mates.
This is the traditional arrangement for relationships.
It is just you and your partner, with no one else in the picture.
Polyamory comes from poly meaning many, and amory meaning love.
This is also known as swinging or an open relationship.
Many sexual partners are involved in a polyamorous relationship.
Ideally, the couple keeps communication open and all sexual partners are known about.
Again, you and your significant other will have to decide what is best for both of you.
And finally, we arrive at polygamy (although it is often confused with polyamory).
Polygamy involves having many spouses.
Were all adults here.
What I am talking about is merely on a biological level.
Humans, by nature, are sexual beings.
There is nothing wrong, or taboo, about having a great sex life.
Let off steam, to avoid blowing your lid.
If something is on your mind the other person may not realize it.
They may not be doing that to intentionally piss you off either.
They, literally, might not realize something is bothering you.
They may never ask about it, causing you to think, WTF?
This causes emotions to boil inside.
Left unchecked, this can lead to anger or resentment.
The former is no big deal.
The latter is catastrophic for all.
The same is true in a long distance relationship.
Master the art of active listening.
A long distance relationship will definitely challenge communication.
Maintaining a real, authentic, conversation can be challenging at times.
Its easy to get distracted in todays fast paced lifestyle, and think only about yourself.
It is easy to hear someone, but it is very hard to listen to them.
Active listening is a key element which creates strong communication.
For some, active listening comes easy.
For others, it may be a challenge.
Simply asking, How was your day is basic.
Thoughtfully ask about things your partner mentioned a week earlier.
That will exemplify that you truly listen to what they said.
Trust me, this will make them feel fantastic.
If you need help remembering what they talked about, the easiest way is to take notes.
Get the big things right, but dont forget the little things.
Remembering to buy a plane ticket for your upcoming trip together is a big thing.
Remembering your anniversary is a big thing.
The big things matter, a lot, and you gotta get them right.
However, I argue that it is the small, little, and lesser things that matter more.
Sending an unprovoked, but thoughtful, hand written letter by way of mail.
Making sure that you text that person Good morning, while staying aware of what timezone they are in.
Randomly having flowers delivered to their house or work.
Sending them a funny cat video because you know they are a cat person and will find it funny.
The big things are the bricks which make up the foundation of your relationship.
However, those little, and seemingly small things, are the mortar that hold the bricks together.
Have activities planned before you see each other.
I mean, it was still fun, but we could have used that time to do something else.
Also, planning trips into the future gives you something tangible to look forward to.
Set a weekly Skype date.
Weekly is just an arbitrary number that works for my girlfriend and I.
We plan to Skype every Sunday.
Youll need to figure what works best within the context of your long distance relationship.
Plus, you have the added bonus of seeing each others face.
Im making a bold assumption that if youre together you must somewhat enjoy looking at each other.
Or, you just close your eyes the whole time.
But lets hope not.
In closing, you will need to tailor these tips to your own relationship.
Each relationship is unique, and involves different dynamics.
Long distance relationships are tough, but they are definitely worth it.
Dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
