By
Updated 4 months ago,January 6, 2025
1.
You Will Meet Hot People In A Bar.
This, for me, is the biggest myth/lie ever told by society.
Knocked Up
Expectation: a guy/girl rolls into the bar and meets the hottest person in the room within seconds.
Because Im checking you out.Eye roll.
But maybe Im just not doing it right!
You Will Drop Everything To Be With Your One True Love.
Baby, I cant live without you.
I need you like I need to breathe.
THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN.
That Nobody Ever Has Morning Breath.
Movie couples always have that eager, adventurous kiss in the morning.
But what about the morning breath!
You Will Not Use Big Theatrics To Impress And Be Perfect To Your Love.
Theres that greatscenein30 Rock(NOT A MOVIE I KNOW) where Liz Lemon is trying to impress Floyd.
Only thing is, he wont know everything is staged!
Oh hey, I didnt see you there.
Youre lucky if your love never sees you take a dump or some other human thing.
That Couples Therapy Will Fix Everything.
Sometimes, if your relationship just isnt working you should just end it.
That There Is A Person At Your Wedding Who Will SPEAK NOW And Not Hold His Peace.
and everybody gasps and the wedding stops and your current fiance leaves and you marry this guy instead.
You Will Get A Makeover And Suddenly EVERYBODY Wants Your Number.
You know I love a makeover.
But seriously, when was the last time anybody actually GOT a makeover?
You know the scene: a frumpy girl comes to town and gets teased for being so freaking frumpy.
She finds a new group of BFFs who are popular and fabulous and they take her under their wing.
Suddenly she shows up, beautiful, hair lookingcorrect, makeup flawless and snatches all the numbers.
THIS IS NOT A THING.
You Will Always Look Amazing During Sex.
Couples having sex in movies always look amazing.
Their hair is flawless and they look so graceful and everything goes in exactly the way its supposed to.
The whole thing is perfect and nobody has to clean up at the end.
But in real life, things DONT always go in automatically.
Sometimes its too big.
Sometimes its too small.
