Would it be chaos?
Would it be silence?
Would mom or dad be high or drunk?
Tom Sodoge
Would they even be home?
We never knew what we were coming home to.
Would it be chaos?
Tom Sodoge
Would it be silence?
Would mom or dad be high or drunk?
Would they even be home?
We never knew how to appropriately handle or react to whatever we might come home to.
Is it okay to be angry even though addiction is a disease?
What if I make dad upset and he drinks more because of me?
Is it okay to cry, is it okay to yell?
You brace yourself for the worst possible outcomes, worrying about things that havent happened yet.
We always wondered, Were other families like this, or are we the only fucked up ones?
Did those other kids get to have a normal childhood?
Were their parents always there for them?
We doubt ourselves, and we are in need of reassurance.
We never knew who was picking us up from school.
Will mom remember to pick me up today, or will she be busy getting messed up somewhere instead?
If she is coming to get me, is she driving drunk or high?
Life constantly felt unstable and uneasy.
And these feelings dont just disappear in adulthood.
They remain within us, causing major trust issues and an inability to fully depend on anyone besides ourselves.
I felt like the weird one among friends.
We always had to take on the role of the parent… we parented our parents.
All too often, children of addicts are forced to take care of their parent.
This makes us grow up too fast.
We saw way too much at such a young age.
We saw things a kid should never see, and the memories haunt us as we get older.
Weve been let down so many times, how do we know we wont be let down again?
We hardly ever let our guards down.
We were always let down, our hopes crushed.
We just never felt normal.And we never really will feel normal.
We will always wonder what its like to feel normal.
Dont forget September is National Recovery Month.
