Your partner could have no symptoms and quietly be spreading the virus.
If youve kissed more than three people in your life, youve likely come in contact with oral herpes.
The problem is that there is still a stigma attached to the virus.
But thats just not true.
Youre in a state of shock and they will be able to hear it in your voice.
I always tell people to make the phone calls right away, she says.
You dont really know whats going on yet or how to handle it.
But even though doing it right then may feel harder in the short-term, its easier in the long-term.
We had some very real conversations.
What do you need?
But others were not as gracious.
Still others ignored her calls completely.
you’re free to also use it for the length of your outbreak, as needed.
I felt like I had a rain cloud over me every day.
There was no lightbulb, no color, no brightnessI was just dim.
As her 30th birthday approached, though, Harbushka started to see the light.
And thats what happened to her.
I decided I didnt want to start my 30s like this.
I had had enough.
But take it from her: Dont wait.
Moreover, a date doesnt mean youre going to marry the other person or even sleep with them.
A date can just be a date, she emphasizes.
But now she wants others to know that it doesnt have to be that way.
I eventually learned that I didnt need to tell people about my herpes diagnosis until I was exposing them.
But they didnt start dating until four years later.
And once he understood exactly what it was, he said, I dont care.
I love every part of you, and herpes is a part of you.
Yet even though he was so loving, Harbushka felt guilty.
I was so worried that I was going to pass it on to him, she says.
Now Im finally like, Okay.
Its not an issue.
I dont have to feel bad about this.
The only time youre potentially at risk is during delivery.
Thats because your body develops antibodies to help you out, explains Goje.
But Goje is quick to point out that even antibodies dont always help.
If your immune system isnt fully functioningfor instance, you have a coldyou may be prone to an outbreak.
My last piece of advice is to not think of yourself as a lesser person.
Its not easy to do, but its worth it.
Its so, so worth it.
