Being abused by a narcissist can cause you to do these nine things.
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Updated 2 years ago,August 10, 2023
1.
Constantly doubting your self-worth.Where once you were self-confident and assured, you are now in people-pleasing mode.
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Your friends and family notice that you are always on edge, doubting your strengths and experiences.
Youre constantly explaining yourself, deflecting compliments or evading opportunities to shine.
You obsess over whether youre worthy, attractive, appealing or desirable enough.
You start to think thatyoumust be the problem if youre being treated in such a horrendous manner.
Its because youve been subconsciously programmed to abusive behavior as a new normal.
As a result, you might have a very distorted perception about what healthy behavior actually entails.
These experiences can compound the trauma youve experienced.
It can mirror the self-sabotaging beliefs the narcissist has trained us to believe in.
It perpetuates the vicious cycle.
When we feel alone and abandoned, were less likely to know we deserve better.
Self-sabotaging.Narcissists program you to self-destruct.
By doing this, they commit covert murder with clean hands.
Or is this what the narcissist wants me to believe?
So its no surprise that when the relationship has ended, the pattern of trying to yo people remained.
So long as the abuser approved of you (even just temporarily), you felt in the clear.
Ask yourself, Why am I really doing this?
What do I think I have to gain?
To start overcoming needless perfectionism, start to self-validate and approve of yourself.
Habits can be hard to break, but new habits can form to replace destructive ones.
Withdrawing from others and isolating yourself.Abusers isolate you so you begin to isolate yourself as well.
Your body, mind and spirit is reeling from the trauma and is trying to process it.
Falling into abuse amnesia.When the narcissist tells you they miss you, youll start to romanticize the relationship.
You might fall prey to their hoovering attempts to get you back into the abusive relationship.
Protecting your abuser.Being abused means that we becometrauma-bondedto the abuser.
This can manifest in many different ways, from the major to the minor.
When fighting the urge to protect the abuser, remember that the abuser never protected you.
They never protected you from the pain they inflicted upon you or the consequences that came with it.
Your only duty after leaving an abusive relationship is to protect yourself, first and foremost.
Having a warped sense of boundaries.One of the effects of being abused is that our boundaries become extremely malleable.
Were more compelled to say yes to things we desperately want to say no to.
It helps to remember yourbasic human rightsafter youve been violated.
Take small steps to practice your new boundaries and follow through with them.
Being assertive doesnt always require a grand gesture it just requires your willingness to prioritize your safety and wellbeing.
It takes practice, but youwillget there.
In fact, you’re able to thrive.
