May you neglect to return thetruck full of gas.
Cursing a Director
May you have a hard out.
May no one understand your vision.
La La Land
May you be given a 1st AD whos a real hardass.
May your shotlist be unreasonable, leaving you with only enough time for one take of each.
May massive story problems only make themselves apparent in editing.
May there be no money for reshoots.
May your deliverables be uninspiring, and may the studio vow to never work with you again.
Cursing a Production Designer
May your crew be filled with must-hires straight from the producer.
La La Land
May all your vendors decide they hate you, mysteriously.
May you be forced to hire union when the budget begs for non-union.
May your build day go wrong via massive vendor miscommunications.
May your on-set dresser be unreliable when it come to continuity when it actually matters most.
May your 1st AC neglect to slate correctly, no matter how many reminders.
May your dolly grip or steadicam op lose their footing during the longest tracking sequence of your career.
May you lose the shot as the sun sets behind the hills.
Cursing a Grip
May you be a grip all your live-long days.
Cursing Lighting
May everyone assume youre a grip.
May everyone beg you for a worklight though you have none.
May you be essentially forgotten in every single way, for all intents and purposes.
May no one understand what you do, how you do it, or why its important.
May this eat away at your soul, forever.
May you consistently get no credit for working miracles as your idiot director is lauded for his incredible vision.
Cursing Transpo
May there be no place to park anything that makes any fuckin sense.
May you have nothing to read or watch, and no cell reception.
Cursing Wardrobe
May you spill a latte all over your onset kit.
May your actors lie constantly about their height, weight and size.
May there be no place to plug in your steamer when you need it most.
May your dry cleaner lose the duplicate hero dress that was aged to perfection.
May your single rack break, miles from any replacements.
May your on-set dresser be too stupid to do continuity.
May you destroy the vintage Chanel dress on loan.
May there be unreasonable expectations when it comes to the limits of your craft.
May your actors sit in stony silence and criticize your work after youre done.
May none of your shows get picked up for another season.
Cursing an On-Set Teacher
May you meet with the most obnoxious children alive.
May their crappiness only be matched by the awfulness of their fame-hungry parents.
May you book many meetings but never sell anything.
May your reputation precede you.
May you deeply disappoint those who have been eager to meet you.
Cursing a Locations Manager or Site Rep
May the place just burn to the ground.
Cursing Casting
May they say they are available, when in fact, they are not.
May they hold out on you and string you along.
May their headshots be out of date with a hundred useless skills, like fencing, listed.
May they just not be right after all for the part.
May the chemistry read go horribly wrong.
May your best lines be continually stolen or cut entirely.
May you get nothing during staffing season.
May you sell script after script and nothing ever get made.
May this make you bitter, forever.
