was it misplaced affection?
did you know i mistook it for medicine?
did you not know too much processed love can ruin a person?
God & Man
By
Updated 4 years ago,February 4, 2021
so you found someone.
found her when you were still waking up in the middle of the night kissing my face, actually.
would you run back to your dreams and meet her there?
would your lips still taste of me?
and those circles youd trace on my arms, my legs was it my skin you were touching?
and when my hair found refuge between your fingers, what were you thinking of?
do you give it to her in all of its purity?
is your dirty saved only for women like me?
do you make love to her?
do you fuck her?
do you put on that same playlist?
but i bet she pretends; takes up all of your likes and interests.
do you like how much younger she is?
does she agree with you always?
swallow all your bullshit like pudding?
the stench can she even smell it?
do you like that she doesnt flinch in her sleep?
that life has left no part of her florid and bruised?
she doesnt know anything.
congratulations, your girl is blemish-free.
your girl is sweet.
someone you’re able to introduce to your friends.
sweet in her prim dress when you take her home to mommy and daddy.
sweet when youre teaching her all the things you didnt have to teach me.
sweet when she doesnt know youre doing it all wrong.
sweet when shes acting wifey.
sweet that she doesnt know what youre up to on trips.
sweet when youre trying to assuage your guilt.
sweet that she doesnt know how to sting.
does she have to keep from biting her lip at the sight of you?
does she dig her fingers into that hairy mole on your back when youre about to cum?
does she love the ugliest parts of you?
i felt them before i knew.
shell make a lovely wife.
i would have let myself been wasted by reckless love.
if you had let me, i would have scraped my knees bloody to worship you.
i would have made an idol out of you with my poetry.
wailing the way only a forgotten snowflake melted in your hands could?
my spirit will be dancing wildly with the wild roses.
fuck you for seeing my thorns as anything but gorgeous.
i was the most beautiful flower.
the darkest shade of crimson.
velvet to the touch.
your hands they did not deserve me.
your eyes unworthy of every stringy yarn of flesh i unraveled before you.
understand this: i never needed to be fixed.
this is not weak.
to still be here with all the things that live inside of me.
to still love after everything thats been done to me.
its lying next to an angel and missing the demon that glows in the night.
those are your eyes like broken headlights staring at a ceiling smeared pale with regret.
