Ive been waiting for you ever since I first grew conscious of what love is.
You see, Ive been waiting for you ever since I first grew conscious of what love is.
And what a painstakingly long and insufferable realization it was.
Photo by Travis Grossen via Unsplash
Full of encounters that really have no meaning, save for the ones you give them.
You, my imaginary love, had no place in such a world.
So I raged instead.
I painted bright, golden images where I found monochromatism.
I pumped adoration and ardor into my own heart when naturally it didnt find any.
I was still the little girl glutting herself with fairytale visions.
Except now, those visions came with a consequence.
The trouble is that the higher you fly, the harder you fall.
And for all the beauty my rose-colored glasses gave me, it couldnt substitute the real thing.
If I ever stopped for a brief moment, I could half-feel that it was all a fraud.
A well-intentioned fraud, but a fraud all the same.
My fairytale lover, I have been hurt more times than I can count.
It made me hold on to things that I shouldve let go of way sooner than I did.
It put me in situations that I really shouldnt have been in.
I know now that you dont have one face but many.
Right this second, there are different possible living, breathing versions of you out there.
We will have to work hard and fight for us.
You wont be a prince and I wont be a princess.
There will also be some people along my path that will, at times, resemble you.
The softness of my heart wont be taken by their callousness.
I believe in the sanctity of true human connection.
One day I will read this to you and you will see the truth of it in my eyes.
