Repeat it until it’s true.
Repeat it until everyone believes it.
Repeat it until you’re able to force yourself to believe it too.
Gabi E. Mulder
By
Updated 7 years ago,September 13, 2018
1.
Clean.Clean everything around you.
Empty closets and bookshelves.
Fill bags withclothesyou havent touched in years and donate them all without even hesitating.
Watch the paint start to peel from living somewhere for years and too much scrubbing.
Vacuum four times in one day.
Scour the tub until your cuticles are raw and red and obsess over the stains you cant get out.
This will make things better.
Then wake up and convince yourself all you see is dirt.
Read.Order four books from Amazon at once.
Lock yourself in your apartment and dedicate yourself to remembering what its like to be a reader.
Go to coffee shops, bars, cafes, even actual bookstores alone with a book.
Watch the words start to jumble because sorry Gillian Flynn, evenSharp Objectscant drown out your thoughts.
Stare harder, determined to shut out your own mind.
Fail and pick up your phone to scroll through Instagram for the 22nd time that day.
End up insanely upset when its too short.
Be determined to, once again, be a cool and chill and easygoing individual.
And if you cant actually be that, you might fake it.
Do Not Disturb will make you fake it.
you could be the person who doesnt care.
you might be the person who cares less.
Take your phone off Do Not Disturb in under 11 minutes.
Start checking your messages obsessively again.
Ignore people.Dont talk to your mom, your dad, or your best friend in days.
And if you cant be vague you’re able to just avoid being asked.
You wont have to struggle to find the answers if you could avoid the question altogether.
If you say youre fine enough, you’re free to trick yourself into being fine, right?
Its like that theory that smiling tricks your brain into being happy.
Repeat it until its true.
Repeat it until everyone believes it.
Repeat it until you’re able to force yourself to believe it too.
Drink.When all else fails, pour yourself a glass of wine until your hands stop shaking.
Go out every night.
Drink on the roof of your building when you dont go out.
Look for answers in the bottom of pint glasses and growlers.
Pour yourself another glass.
It probably wont hurt.
Fill aSephoracart with $300+ worth of products to give you ~*your best skin ever.
*~ People with clear, glowy, dewy-and-flawless-with-no-makeup skin do not have problems.
They do not get up at 5 in the morning immediately feeling anxiety creeping its way up their chest.
(You know the answer.)
Fixate over people on social media.It doesnt even have to be someone you know.
Or someone you like.
Wonder what their fridge looks like.
Wonder if they also found butter from 2016 in their fridge.
Know that they probably didnt.
That their vegetables never go bad and they never forget to buy laundry detergent or paper towels.
Maybe if you could successfully execute an Instagram theme you wouldnt have migraines!
Yeah, an Instagram theme is definitely the cure for existential dread.
Sleep.Pass out with all the lights on and with a candle burning andFriendshumming in the background.
Burrow yourself under pillows and give a shot to drown everything out.
Consider listing sleeping as one of your hobbies on Bumble.
Stay awake.Find yourself looking for ways to stay up.
And suddenly its 11, 12, 1 in the morning and youre still awake.
Still unsure what to do or where to focus.
(You hope.)
