Just five more minutes.
Let’s just stay in this part.
By
Updated 7 years ago,September 22, 2018
1.This is the good part.
Abhishek Koli
This is the part when being awake at 6 in the morning doesnt feel like an inconvenience.
(I do know why.
)This is the part where four days feels unbearable and falling asleep is disappointing.
This is the good part.
This is the good part.
I want to stay in this part.
Let me live in this part.
Just five more minutes.
Lets just stay in this part.
We havent really talked in a month.
Not of anything of substance really.
I love my mother, I do.
We have the same eyes, nose, laugh, tendency to shut down when were upset.
But I cant help but wonder what its like to want, no, toneedto tell your family things.
Ive always been the black sheep, the one who didnt quite fit.
Which as an only child was probably a little bit impactfullikely left some sort of mark.
Ive never really felt like I wasnt, at least in some capacity, alone in the world.
Maybe some of us are just destined to always be at arms length.
Maybe theres a space that cant ever be fully filled.
Maybe Im always going to be a little bit alone.
Maybe thats something I have to remember is not the worst thing a person can be.
4.Im always picking myself apart.
I dont know how to stop.
I dont know if I want to.
I dont know if obsessing over the picking in and of itself is another way to pick at myself.
5.I cant see the finish line with this, but I think its there.
I know theres an expiration date, but I dont know what series of numbers it has.
I dont know how this ends, I just know that it will.
Theres probably an ending somewhere, and Im just doing my best to not go looking for it.
I know theres an ending somewhere, I know its heading right for me.
But Im not scared of being scared.
