Then, you will want to change again.
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Updated 6 years ago,November 1, 2018
You will plan everything.
Suddenly, your planner is empty.
You will apply for every job.
You will begin to think that maybe, just maybe, your dream job isnt meant to be.
Then you start applying for coffee shops and juice bars because you better pay rent.
You will become an artist.
Your dream job may be out of reach, but creativity will be everywhere.
You will fail as an artist.
You will compare your work to others, only to realize your work isnt as good.
You will throw away your projects.
You will put them on pause.
You will drink a lot.
You will think this is the only way to feel complete satisfaction.
Your one night stands become less passionate.
Your energy is too low for another late night.
You will wonder how it was you ever had high hopes to begin with.
You will look in the mirror to see someone it’s possible for you to no longer recognize.
Maybe you apply on more makeup to cover your tired eyes.
Maybe the stubble on your chin is growing out longer than it has before.
Maybe your gut starts to grow and you feel heavier than usual.
Maybe you dont like what you see.
You will buy a new planner and fill it.
You keep planning, even when the plans change, even when the plans fail.
You wont give up this time.
You keep looking for work.
You will pick up that pen again.
You will paint in many colors.
You will doodle in your journal and sing in the shower.
You will make art, not because you plan to be an artist, but because you are one.
You have found that your soul is strengthened, even if you sing off key or misspell words.
You know that art saves and healsthat it is something to keep in your life forever.
You will still drink, but maybe not as much.
You will know how to have a good time without overdoing it or feeling regretful the next day.
You will also find new partsbetter parts, stronger parts.
All the parts of yourself that have grown through your struggles.
You will be more capable, filled with elasticity, strengthened by hope, and powered by determination.
You will become more you, over time and with every struggle.
Just remember that life will never go as planned, but it will always go as it should be.
