Ill assume they only want to use me.
Ill assume they are playing some sort of trick on me.
Ill stop answering text messages out of nowhere.
Thalles Cardoso
Ill stop acting so excited to see them.
My mind plays tricks on me when it comes to my friendships, too.
It doesnt matter how well someone treats me.
My brain will twists truths, convincing me they only invited me to be polite.
They dontactuallywant me to tag along.
They wouldntactuallymiss me if I stayed home.
I do the same thing with text messages.
Ill think about getting in touch with a friend but then I worry Ill be bothering them.
Ill worry itll be a bad time.
Ill worry they wont answer me.
Ill keep to myself.
Ill keep my distance.
In my mind, everyone is the same.
Everyone has the potential to shatter my heart into pieces.
Of course, it has nothing to do withthem.
I dont think the people surrounding me are liars or cheaters or manipulators.
I dont think they would set out to hurt me on purpose.
I dont think theyre that cruel.
The problem is withmyself.Im worried Im not worth their effort.
Im worried theyll wake up one day and realize hanging out with me is more stress than its worth.
I dont mean to cut myself off from the world.
I dont mean to spend so much time on my own.
I dont mean to ignore texts or go months without hanging out with someone who matters to me.
Im nottryingto push other people away but my anxiety makes it hard to keep them close.
