I don’t want to send a text (to a friend who loves me).
I don’t want to socialize (at a party that’s bound to be fun).
I dont want to socialize (at a party thats bound to be fun).
Brooklyn
I dont want to leave the house (and drive to a job Im lucky to have).
In the grand scheme of things, Im lucky my problems are that simple.
Im lucky theres nothing worse going on right now.
My anxiety makes even the best days seem difficult.
Ive been through tough times in the past.
I know how bad things can get.
I would like to sit back and appreciate the calm before another storm hits.
But my anxiety doesnt let that happen.
In theory, thats great advice.
In practice, its impossible.
I cant control how long my brain focuses on a particular issue.
I cant predict how long I will spend spiraling.
Supposedly, You cannot control other people.
I cant control my reactions, my emotions, my thoughts.
My anxiety is in control of those things.
No one seems to understand that, though.
Most people will look at me like Im crazy when I tell them how anxious Im feeling.
I dont want to seem ungrateful.
I dont want to seem heartless.
I dont want to seem like aspoiled brat.
I still find reasons to bring myself to tears even when life is going well.
My anxiety doesnt give me a chance to enjoy my good moments.
It just keeps reminding me something worse could be around the corner.
