Ill never be a good enough friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend.
Anxiety tells me they wish they could leave but they are afraid of what it will do to me.
Anxiety tells me people arent choosing you, they just feel sorry for you.
God & Man
Anxiety tells me my best friend might leave soon.
Anxiety tells me the only reason they are answering is because theyre polite.
Anxiety tells me everyone waiting for the right moment to exit with grace.
It tells me Im a burden.
Anxiety tells me I need to keep apologizing.
Anxiety tells me I need to overcompensate so people have a reason to stay.
Anxiety tells me they arent answering because they dont like me.
That they are deliberately ignoring me because of something Ive done or said wrong.
Then anxiety reminds me of everything in the past that could apply to that scenario.
Anxiety tells me that one-word response is them hoping I go away.
So I pull away slightly.
Anxiety tells me when they really get to know me, theyre going to hate me.
Anxiety tries to teach me to hate myself.
Anxiety fixates upon my flaws saying if I were different maybe Id be happier.
Anxiety tells me this is my fault.
Anxiety adds fuel to a fire that is self-doubt and criticism.
Anxiety keeps me up at night fixating upon everything Ive done wrong or things I could do better.
Anxiety tells me Im not good enough.
Anxiety tells me Im going to fail.
That everything Ive worked for Im going to lose.
That everyone I love will leave.
Anxiety tells me the love I have to give is not enough.
Then I wake up the next day still tired trying to counter that voice that haunts me.
Anxiety reminds me of everything Ive done wrong in my life.
Anxiety beats me up and punishes me for mistakes I cant forgive myself for.
Anxiety does not let me just move on.
Anxiety tells me every worse case scenario will come true.
Every worst fear will come to life.
Anxiety makes me feel like Im always waiting.
And I dont even know what Im waiting for Im just uneasy.
Im always comparing myself to someone and falling short.
Anxiety tells me Ill never be good enough.
So I try so incredibly hard.
And most people are impressed.
Anxiety tells me I need to fix something that isnt a problem but I make it one.
Anxiety makes living in the moment hard.
Im constantly dwelling on the past and afraid of the future.
Anxiety tells me to hate myself for this.
Anxiety might tell me, theyre here because they feel bad.
But then those people counter those thoughts with a hug, a kind word, a conversation.
