Category is: are you a top or bottom?
By
Updated 5 years ago,October 7, 2020
Im not an astrology gay.
I am conversationally fluent in astrology.
God & Man
Like a very loose grasp on the true science and mechanics behind it.
But I am obsessed with based on your astrology sign articles.
I always wonder how people actually write those.
Do they actually have any basis or do they just make their best guess?
If they tried to top they would just flop around like a fish.
I am cracking up at myself.
And now Im singing the Spongebob theme song in my brain.
When I think of Aries, I think of air.
Which makes me think of someone who is light and airy and very go with the flow.
And therefore a bottom.
A ram means business.
A ram is easily one of the most aggressive animals out there.
Like, their whole thing is head-butting.
Because they are two-faced?
Dont they, like, cry all the time?
I think I heard that once.
Or one girl I know who is a Cancer cries all the time.
Youd think theyd be a top because of all of the fiery energy, but no.
Its a lot of look at me all-talk-no-game action.
I had too many bottoms on my list.
I had to throw a top in here somewhere.
But Im pretty sure they are also bottoms.
Everyones a bottom at some point, right?
Libras are people who will remind you its ~libra season~ and that seems very extra to me.
Extra bottom-y that is!!!!
My girlfriend is a Scorpio, and shes a top; ipso facto, Scorpio top-o.
I know this from very personal experience.
Very personal in that I myself am a Sagittarius.
Im pretty sure Capricorns are, like, heartless or something.
Its just a silly little category we put ourselves in for no discernible reason.
But, was I right?
