I know you mean well.
I know that you want me to feel better and that you could see Im in pain.
I know depression is complicated and messy and dark.
Timothy Paul Smith
In fact, its hurtful, invalidating, and downright harmful.
Depression just doesnt work like that.
You cant will yourself to produce more serotonin or dopamine.
The thing is depression is an illness.
Because it cant, not without treatment.
Its also important to note that choose happiness is crappy advice because depression isnt sadness.
Timothy Paul Smith
When someone is sad, theyre often told to cheer up since happiness is considered sadnesss opposite.
That will have to cancel it out, right?
Depression should work the same!
(An aside: If youre feeling sad, let yourself be sad.
Its not a bad thing to be upset or to feel hurt after something bad happens.
You cant choose how you feel.)
Depression is also hopelessness.
Its feeling utterly alone and finding it hard to leave your bed or the house.
Its having trouble brushing your teeth or showering.
Its a flood of tears that you cant seem to stop.
Sometimes, its no tears at all because youre so numb and apathetic that nothing seems to matter.
Depression is disrupted sleep.
Its feeling exhausted constantly, even after sleeping for 10 hours straight.
Its eating too much, or too little.
Its being unable to concentrate at work or school.
Its hating every ounce of your being.
Its all consuming, excruciating, emotional pain.
Encourage them to see one if not.
Help them make the first phone call to set up an appointment.
Go with them to support groups if theyre scared to go.
Ask them if theyve tried medication, and remind them theres no shame in needing it.
Ask them how theyre doing and let them know you love them no matter what.
Let them know what they feel is real and valid and not all in their head.
Sometimes, the weight of depression is just too much and this doesnt make them weak.
I cant imagine what depression is like, but I can see and hear how badly youre hurting.
Let me know if theres anything I can do to help you get the treatment and support you need.
Its going to be okay.
Its also contributing to the stigma and why people dont seek treatment in the first place.
After all, if they could choose their way out, why would they ask for help?
