Maybe it’s selfish of me, or perhaps narcissistic of me.
Maybe I feel a bit possessive over you.
Or maybe I just wish you still felt the same about me as you did before.
Jacalyn Beales
Maybe I just wish you still loved me.
By
Updated 8 years ago,August 17, 2017
I loved you first.
Just remember you loved me first.
And nothing can change that.
No one can change that.
Maybe its selfish of me, or perhaps narcissistic of me.
Jacalyn Beales
Maybe I feel a bit possessive over you.
Or maybe I just wish you still felt the same about me as you did before.
Maybe I just wish you still loved me.
Nothing went as planned for us.
But I guess seeing you and meeting you and loving was never something I expected.
But I also didnt expect you to go.
Its been so long that I feel so stupid for caring.
I shouldnt feel like this or be like this.
You moved on quickly.
You fell in love again.
I used to think our souls were intertwined.
I used to think that whatever I felt, you could be there for me.
You would always be there for me, no matter the breakup and the messes that we made.
And no matter how much time had passed, I always thought youd stick around.
At the very least, just be there when I needed you.
To forget that you were gone and just for a minute live in the past.
Because the past with you was my favorite thing.
And it was so real.
You were so real.
But now, youve moved on with another girl.
And I want to tell her that its not fair.
That I want to hate her, but I cant because I understand why.
I understand why any person would love you.
You were so easy to love and to adore.
I dont blame her.
Its strange to me that this is the same heart that you used to rely on.
That my heart is still the heart that you loved three years ago.
But this heart doesnt have a place for you anymore.
And you dont have an inch of me in yours.
At least not anymore.
I just always thought that our friendship would outlast our time on this earth.
I thought that at the very least, we could still be us.
But then you said that you couldnt be that person for me now.
That you cant be who you used to be for me.
And I get it.
And I think Id probably really like her, you know.
I guess we have a lot in common.
But still, I need you to know I loved you first.
I need you to remember that you loved me first.
And I need her to hear those words and to wish she were me.
Just for a second.
I dont know why I need it.
Maybe just to know our love was real.
Maybe just to know that you used to care.
I had you first.
Maybe I need to convince myself of that, too.
