If you’re happy with the status quo of dating, cool.
I’ve seen too many incredible people settle for less than what they want.
By
Updated 5 years ago,February 6, 2020
Im about to make a lot of people upset.
YouTube / Windycina
Ever heard these cliches?
Youre the one I want to want.
Im not ready for a relationship, but can we be friends?
Im just not feeling a connection.
Essentially, theyre just not that into you.
Books have been written with this exact title.
I read it a few weeks ago.
They made a movie.
However, my newsfeed is still filled with women pining over their situationships.
This isnt limited to heteronormative dating habits.
Were a smart, well-educated generation.
Why arent we listening?
We dont want to.
I watchedHes Just Not That Into Youa few nights ago.
This is where Im going to ruffle quite a few feathers.
Heres my takeaway, though: If they want to be with you, they will be.
Dating with intention is envisioning your emotional wants and needs and finding a partner who shares that same goal.
And when we discover our intentions dont align?
It is a real, staggering pain inside our chest.
Millennials long for companionship thats more than platonic, without the cynicism of friends with benefits.
We end up in almost relationships, settling, because we think thats all thats out there.
All the while, we only want someone who gives a fuck about us.
We want to cuddle on the couch and watch Molly Ringwald movies.
We want to argue about where to go antique shopping.
We want someone to make breakfast in bed for us.
We end up settling for the almost.
Women dont want to be viewed as needy or demanding.
Were taught to be the cool girl who doesnt require higher standards.
How did we talk ourselves into a dating culture where we dont value connections, but we swipe right?
One in which we ghost each other because consideration is too difficult.
One in which we think its perfectly acceptable to download apps in lieu of human contact.
Dating has always sort of sucked, but the paradigm shifted with smartphones.
Need to have an uncomfortable conversation?
Want to read a book?
Download it (after all, thats how I readHes Just Not Into You).
While inarguably one of the biggest advances in centuries, our cellphones have stunted us.
Swipe right, meet for drinks, scratch your itch.
As Ariana says, THANK U, NEXT.
We dont get asked out anymore.
Now, we Netflix and chill.
Disney Plus and thrust.
We do everything but talk about the elephant in the room.
We want a connection.
We deserve a connection.
If youre happy with the status quo of dating, cool.
Ive seen too many incredible people settle for less than what they want.
With dating apps, if we become heartbroken, we immediately move on, rather than heal.
We arent doing the inner work to get over heartache before the next partner.
People are dating before theyre ready.
We want to immediately move on instead of processing our pain.
Other times were the fixer, the proverbial white knight.
Heres the lonely truth: We are never the exception to the rule.
If a crush is into you, you will know.
You will never question your place in their life.
You will not cry yourself to sleep, asking why you are not enough.
Kings and Queens, I am here to tell you that you are more than enough.
Spend time with the ones who want you.
Dont put someone on the backburner and string them along.
There is someone out there fantasizing about you.
Not someone like you.
So live your life, and one day, youll wake up to your person.
