But the thoughts that consume me more as time has passed are all the good memories we had.
Keith Anderson
When I think back to us, first Im overcome with how horribly it ended.
I guess when someone means that much to you, theres no graceful way to exit.
God & Man
Theres no way something like that could ever end on good terms.
The stone was already thrown.
Suddenly it felt like I was drowning.
God & Man
Drowning in my own thoughts wondering how we got here.
You were my best friend.
You were my number one fan far before anyone else was.
I think back to every vacation you were always welcome on.
Because as much as I loved you so did my parents.
I thought back to the funeral where you were standing by my side and didnt once leave.
And how every accomplishment was achieved with your unwavering support and encouragement.
How regardless of the distance between us, it never felt that far.
I look back at the pictures of us smiling and laughing.
I never thought memories like that would later bring such pain.
Now here we are strangers.
How do you forget someone who brought so much joy and happiness to your life?
Because even though it ended badly I still look at all the good you brought my life.
And here I am a completely different person.
I find myself wondering would you like who I became?
Would we get along?
Would you agree with the decisions Ive made and the life I chose?
And more than that would you be proud?
Because part of me doesnt want to forget you.
Im always wary of our run-ins even though theres been so much time between us.
The first time we crossed paths I resorted to alcohol dealing with it.
Nothing good came of that from the things I do remember.
But we avoided each other like the plague.
Then recently I saw you walk in a spot thats always been mine.
A place where Ive always felt comfortable.
But the hairs on my neck rose as I watched.
It hit me in that moment how we really were strangers.
I didnt know anyone you were with.
I noticed how great you looked as I analyzed my own wardrobe.
They say always dress like youre going to run into an ex.
Part of me wanted to go up to you, ask how you were.
Try and at least be civil this way it wouldnt hurt so much.
But I couldnt bring myself to do that.
Any closure I was seeking was solely for myself but I didnt want to seem vulnerable or weak.
Instead, I left.
My friends didnt need an explanation.
So much time has passed.
But there are days missing sneaks up on me.
