You cannot love somebody into loving you.
You cannot love somebody into being ready.
Not everyone you feel something deep and meaningful with is going to be ready to hold your heart.
Bret Watkins
My mother held all of my broken pieces back together and she inspired me beyond words.
She always encouraged me and loved me for who I was.
And so, in a way, this is me allowing for her to continue doing that.
Your looks are the least interesting thing about you.
You still have work to do.
You have to trust me when I say that you are so much more than your appearance.
Attraction, thats flesh.
It isnt impressive to turn a head or to turn someone on.
Whats impressive is being able to inspire someone.
Whats impressive is being able to connect.
Take care of your mind, take care of your heart.
It is what people are going to remember about you.
That is the legacy she left.
It was all soul.
It had nothing to do with what she looked like.
They didnt affect you because they were good looking.
They touched you, and inspired you, because they were good people.
Focus on being yourself.
Focus on sharing your heart with the world.
That is what holds weight when it is all said and done.
People will forget about the clothes you wore, theyll forget about who you were externally.
But they will remember what you taught them, what you have made them feel.
And that is the real beauty in life.
You cannot love somebody into loving you, or being ready.
Not everyone you feel something deep and meaningful with is going to be ready to hold your heart.
Sometimes life weathers people in different ways.
Sometimes, were ready and another person is not.
Sometimes, we try, and another person does not.
Sometimes, we pour ourselves into another human being and they cannot contain all that we are.
Sometimes, we fight, and another person surrenders.
And that is okay.
I need you to understand that that is okay.
You cannot keep pouring your love into a vessel that cannot contain it.
You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it.
It will only leave you empty.
You have to walk away.
You cant love someone into being ready.
They have to do that on their own.
And I know how hard it is to walk away from someone you deeply care for.
You will learn how to stand up for your feeling, how to stand up for its value.
My parents chose one another, every single day.
They were a team if I had ever seen one.
They had foundational love.
And when my mother got sick, that is when this lesson truly hit home for me.
I saw my father meet her where she was.
Just knowing he was in the same room as her calmed her.
He slept by her side every single night when she was in the hospital.
He fought so hard, so fucking hard, for her.
He did not give up once.
He did not turn his back on her.
He was there with her when she passed away.
He held her and calmed her and really made sure that she felt his love.
like, know that you deserve that.
just, wait for it.
Be the person who cares, have the courage to love deeply.
Be the reason why someone else believes in the goodness of people.
I hope you have the courage to keep loving deeply in a world that sometimes fails to do so.
I hope you have the courage to fight for connection.
I hope you have the courage to go deeper.
To never exist on the surface of your life, even if its easier or more convenient.
A heart that is bruised from loving, and feeling, and caring in the best way possible.
You should be proud of who you are and how you showed up.
You should know that you cared with conviction.
That you never let the things that hurt you in life turn you into someone you werent.
That you always chose to care.
Real life exists outside of your phone.
Real life is so much more interesting than anything you will see on social media.
So c’mon, just put down your phone, and pick up your head.
Dont forget to live because you think youre living through your phone.
Real life is kissing your mothers face and hearing about the first time she saw your father.
Always choose to look up.
6. you’re able to do hard things.
My mother was always so headstrong in this.
There is no way to perfect the journey, you just have to keep moving forward within it.
And you will take five steps forward, and 10 steps back, but that is still movement.
That is still growth, and progress.
At the end of the day, you’re able to do hard things.
you’re free to overcome.
you’re able to have hard conversations.
you’re able to bet on yourself and you’re able to prove your doubt wrong.
you’re able to turn every single loss you have ever experienced into a lesson.
you’re able to shape yourself from the debris.
Losing my mother taught me that I can do hard things.
But I could do hard things because I showed up to do them, even if it was imperfectly.
Even if I broke down.
Even if I felt tender.
No matter how difficult that was for me.
And so now I get to remind you you’re able to do hard things.
The thing, youre thinking about right now?
The thing you think you cant survive?
I promise, that isnt the case.
Whatever you do, just believe that.
Just do anything it’s possible for you to do to believe that.
Nothing is going to defeat you.
Nothing has the capacity to destroy you, unless you allow for it to.
hey, keep going.
You are going to be so glad that you chose to believe that there was more for you.
Life is meant to be lived.
Life is meant to be lived.
You have to chase the things that ignite you.
You have to do the things that bring you joy.
You have to do the work to heal yourself, even when it hurts.
You have to be unapologetic in the way that you exist here.
You have to believe that you have purpose here.
Because, and I say this in the most freeing way we are all living on borrowed time.
Our existence is finite.
But we dont, and that is liberating, because it is pressing.
It wakes you up when you connect with that.
You are not promised tomorrow.
So how are you going to ensure that you crash your heart into your life?
That is what losing my mother taught me.
That we cannot wait to be the people we have always dreamed of being.
We cannot wait for life to perfect itself.
There is no right time, there is no perfect circumstance.
We have to leap, even when our legs are shaking.
Because every single day is a blessing.
Every single day is a gift.
We cannot lose sight of that.
