But have you heard of fawn?
This is a deeply ingrained and embedded subconscious survival response that they can carry onto adulthood.
Survivors who grow up in chaos are accustomed to being punished and berated for speaking out.
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As a result, they learn to silence their inner voice and defer to others.
Their minds and bodies are conditioned to revert back to these trauma responses as a way of life.
This will help you in making decisions that benefit you while still keeping you safe.
Get in touch with and identify your authentic emotions including anger.
Journaling can be a powerful tool to stay mindful of when fawning is making you susceptible to manipulation.
Connect with that emotion and the basic right it relates to (i.e.That person talked down to me.
I didnt deserve that.
I deserve respect.)
Keep a track record of times you felt angry but didnt speak up.
What were the pros and cons of fawning?
The perceived benefits and the actual consequences?
This will give you a sense of your behavioral patterns in different dysregulated states.
What did you feel in your body?
Notice what happens to your body and mind each time you do.
You may experience discomfort.
You want to incrementally work toward setting healthier boundaries in a way that doesnt overwhelm you.
Different situations will call for different actions and your nervous system needs time to adjust to this new empowerment.
What actions would you take from this empowered state?
How would you ask them to shift gently from self-blame to self-compassion?
Even if you fear others abandoning you, you dont have to abandon yourself.
