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Updated 6 years ago,July 14, 2019
Maybe it is me.
Maybe its the way I get excited about the little things and the way my eyes give everything away.
Like how they talk or how they like their coffee or what kind of dog they want to buy.
Pete Bellis
The way I could talk to someone for hours and never get bored.
The way I ask personal questions and share too much too soon.
The moments that dont happen every day.
The few hours you get to share with a special person.
Maybe its how contradicting I am.
A hopeless romantic with too much pride.
Pete Bellis
A giver with her guards up high.
A skeptic who believes in fairy tales.
A realist with a wild imagination.
A sensitive soul with a tough shell.
Maybe its how I cant find the balance.
How I switch from one extreme to another.
How I go from saying too much to saying nothing.
How I go from loving too much to staying far away.
How I go from giving too much to not giving anything at all.
Or maybe its the fear of giving my all to the wrong person again.
Maybe its my honesty.
Why say things you dont mean just so you’re free to score a few more dates?
Why pretend that you dont like someone when you cant stop thinking about them?
Why manipulate someone into loving who youre not?
Maybe its my baggage.
The one I dont really hide.
The one Ive been carrying alone for years and I wont pretend like I dont some help with it.
The way I see it, your baggage makes you human and strong and vulnerable.
Your scars make you an extraordinary person.
I might as well give up everything Ive built and everything Ive learned and become a completely banal person.
A person who gave up on their exceptional story to be a secondary character in someone elses story.
And I refuse to be that person.
I refuse to be the girl whos ashamed of her baggage.
Maybe its me but this is who I am.
It took me a very long time to accept the incomplete and bruised parts of me.
