And some people, some people teach us how not to love.
How not to settle.
You dont have to feel sorry for loving someone.
You dont have to feel sorry for caring.
For trusting that the people you gave your heart to were going to value it, and nurture it.
And I know what it is like to be here now, in the aftermath of that human being.
And I know it hurts.
And I know it can leave your heart feeling like a heavy and haunted thing.
You deserve something pointed.
You deserve something real.
You deserve to defend your heart, and the way you love, and how you show up here.
Not every single person you feel something deep and meaningful with is going to stay.
And some people, some people teach us how not to love.
How not to settle.
Either way, the lesson remains.
And the scars remain.
And the wounds remain.
And the hurt and the hope remains.
And its all within you, but it isnt a testament of failure.
It is a testament of faith.
You chose to try for something.
You chose to hope for something.
And that is nothing to be ashamed of.
That is something to celebrate.
That is something to protect.
The uncertainty right now is here to teach you.
I know the uncertainty feels scary right now.
I know that so many of you are afraid of this uncertainty, you have never felt it before.
But I want you to connect with the fact that all of your life has been uncertain.
Because no day is ever promised to you.
Life has always been uncertain.
She had so many plans.
She had so many dreams.
And so many hopes.
And then she got sick.
Very out of the blue, in this abrupt and immense way.
And from there everything changed.
She didnt know how much time she had.
She didnt know what her future held anymore.
She didnt know if she would beat it, or if she would even wake up the next day.
Like time was being taken away from her.
Like she wanted to grip at her past concept of what was waiting for her in her future.
And I think that is how a lot of you are feeling right now.
Like so much was taken from you.
Like you dont know what is waiting on the other side of all of this.
And the truth is you wont ever know.
That is one of the biggest lessons my mother taught me.
Sometimes life goes to plan, and sometimes it doesnt.
Slowly, I saw the fear and the confusion in my mother disappear.
Because that is what uncertainty gifts you.
That tomorrow is never promised.
That things will always be out of your control.
Nothing in this life is certain.
And this uncertainty is hard because it really drives that home.
Uncertainty is hard because it reminds you that you are not in control.
That things can change so quickly, that so much can be taken.
But instead of focusing on those fears, I urge you to focus on what that means.
I urge you to let it empower you to live each day in gratitude.
Be present in your life.
Be thankful that you are here, and know that you arent promised anything.
Life is a mess you will never be able to contain.
All you might do is crash your whole soul into it.
So, go live accordingly.
Be patient with your hearts.
Do not rush your healing.
Do not vilify yourself for taking longer to move on than you had hoped.
Healing is not linear.
Do not attempt to dismiss your feelings, or sweep them under the rug.
Be gentle with yourself.
And what I mean by that is your healing will find you in places you never thought it would.
You will let go when you decide to do the same.
And this doesnt mean that you are fully healed, but this means that you are taking the steps.
I hope you give yourself permission to be patient with your healing.
This is your reminder that it is happening, even when it does not feel like it.
That love can be soft.
Because dont you deserve to find someone who chooses you the way you choose them?
Dont you deserve someone who loves you there?
Dont you deserve that kind of beauty?
That kind of peace?
Dont you deserve to find someone who shows up?
Someone who wants to laugh with you in bed at 2am when you both cant sleep.
Someone who wants to wrap you up between their arms on a rainy day?
Someone who wants to be the reason why a smile dances across your face?
Dont you deserve someone who wants all of that?
Someone who wants to be in your life?
Someone who chooses depth over distance?
And I know a lot of you better hear this today.
Give yourself permission to let go of anything that does not hold your heart.
Do not hold space in your heart for those who are not showing up to claim it.
Love is not pain.
Love is not hurt.
Love is good, and you deserve good love.
Release anything that does not honor that.
