Why does it so hard to let go of something you never truly had?
Why does it feel like such an immense loss?
Why are you still stuck in this obsessive, spiral cycle?
Athena
When youre in a situationship, youre basically dating potential.
And thats hard to reconcile.
It could have been a total disaster.
You just dont know and you cant know.
You are attached to an idealized fantasy, not to any sort of reality.
It also hurts that he didnt even want to try.
In a situationship… it hurts so much more that he didnt even want to try.
It hurts that he didnt want to step up and match your desire to give this a fair shot.
He didnt even want to give it more time to see what was there?
Its also important to realize that whoever this man was in the situationship isnt the real him.
What you saw was the best of him, because were all on our best behavior in the beginning!
More than being mad at him or the situation, youre mad at yourself.
How did you not see this coming?
Realize hes not your person.
This just wasnt your person.
And trust me, this is not a loss.
Not everyone is a match and thats OK.
Is it possible that its just bad timing?
Sure, but it isnt a good idea for you to just wait around for him to choose you.
If he lets you go, you just have to let him.
Be kind to yourself.
I know you feel stupid for being so sad over this, but youre not.
Your hurt is valid, its more than valid!
Its a loss, and a loss is painful.
You got excited about something and then disappointed when it wasnt what you thought.
Who wouldnt be hurt by that?
What did I learn?
Every disappointment is a chance to learn and grow, so what did you learn here?
You felt an intense pull toward that person for a reason, what was it?
What did he represent to you?
What needs was he fulfilling?
What void was he plugging up?
Maybe he represents unhealed trauma.
What did you think he could heal within you?
Also- does this guy represent a pattern of yours?
This isnt a conspiracy against you.
Fill your life up.
Obsession grows in vacant space.
You didnt do anything wrong, there just wasnt enough there to sustain a relationship.
Instead of dwelling on it, redirect your focus onto something else.
Fill up your time and your life with things you love and things that bring you joy.
This will put you back in a place of strength and thats what you need right now.
Visualize what your ideal day looks like.
See it from start to finish- what time do you wake up?
What do you do first?
Who do you spend time with?
How do you structure your day?
What hobbies and passions do you pursue?
When your life is full and fulfilling, you effortlessly attract more goodness.
