This was absolutely as shocking and devastating as it sounds.
Do you want to know what my heartbroken younger self did?
Not a god damn thing.
Favi Santos
I sat there in silence using every iota of strength in my body to not burst into tears.
He noticed his fuck up.
He noticed me trying not to react.
And he ignored it.
We hooked up later that night and I went home in the morning and cried all weekend.
This is not healthy.
Keep in mind that this is someone Id been hooking up with for months.
Nothing about the act of caring for someone makes you crazy.
Its human to care.
Which is a pretty gross way to go through life.
Why do I care so much about the wrong things?
Some guys just think women are crazy.
Its not my responsibility to convince them otherwise.
A morality tale to scare women into submission.
I dont know how much fault men actually have in this.
The sad part of this is that we all already have so much wisdom within us.
My intuition knows when something is off and I should be communicative about that with the people around me.
The people who tell me its not a big deal or Im overreacting have an agenda.
The way men have made me feel has lasting consequences.
It shapes the person I am able to be.
I just want to be a multi-faceted human being who listens to myself.
I want to make decisions based on measured thought held against my gut.
I have a pretty good history of success when I actually do stop and listen to what Im feeling.
Maybe Id have had less fun nights with the guy on the porch.
The loss of someone who didnt treat me well doesnt feel like much of a loss in retrospect.
