By
Updated 8 years ago,August 2, 2017
Sometimes we create heartbreak through our own expectations.
Sometimes we expect too much of someone and they let us down.
We love someone despite their flaws.
Patryk Sobczak
We chose to focus on the positive, on the way we feel when we are with them.
On the love we experience when things are going well.
The process has been exhausting and my emotions have been intense and at times frantic.
Patryk Sobczak
That is why I have chosen to share my experience with you.
It hurts when you realize you are not as important to someone as you thought you were.
The sadness is consuming and will come in waves.
You will soon realize that life is littered with reminders of the person.
You also quickly realize how many of your greatest memories now feel tainted and cause you pain.
Losing someone who at one time was a constant in your life is difficult.
All of the hopes and dreams that you had for your future with that person are gone.
You realize that it would be impossible to ever go back to how things were.
you’ve got the option to never erase what was said and done.
You will cry more than you care to admit.
I cried long and often too.
Sadness for me passed and turned into anger.
Anger about how the person hurt me.
Anger about how I could have let this happen.
I am pissed they didnt try.
I was even more pissed that they failed to see everything they were giving up.
In my case due to stubbornness and pride.
I felt angry that they hurt me and didnt seem to be the least bit empathetic.
Im angry they quit.
Im angry they didnt love me more.
Anger is a dangerous emotion though as it can quickly turn into motivation for revenge.
It is normal to be angry.
I even think it is normal to feel inclined to make them hurt as much as they hurt you.
However, choose to take the higher road.
Be the better person, you dont need another reason to feel like shit.
After my anger had subsided I started to feel a sense of hope.
Maybe its not to late?
Maybe I can still fix this?
Maybe the person I loved is still there somewhere under all the lies and narcissism?
And maybe in your situation there is hope.
Unfortunately for me that is not the case.
I implore you to exercise caution.
Trying to salvage a relationship that is toxic or one sided will only open you up to more pain.
to get to salvage a relationship both parties must be willing.
Maybe down the line they will reach out and a door will open.
Until then dont waste your energy or cause yourself anymore heartbreak.
Freedom comes from taking responsibility for your own actions.
You have to take responsibility for creating false expectations.
But after that comes a sense of freedom and closure.
One person can only handle so much disappointment.
With every action there is a reaction, and eventually you could not go back.
Peoples actions will change you.
Change you into a person who no longer can allow them space in your life.
you could get out now before they drain you of any more of your energy.
Before they make you love them any more.
Lastly, I choose to feel grateful.
Im not sad or mad anymore.
I am grateful that this person showed me who they truly were.
In the beginning I viewed the end of this relationship as a loss.
Now I am thankful that I am rid of someone who no longer deserves me.
A part of me will always love this person.
But I am choosing to love myself more.
I love myself and they were simply no longer meeting my standards.
I am moving on and I will use this experience to make me better and more resilient.
To make me more successful.
As much as I have hurt, I now realize what I am worth.
And they are simply not worthy of me.
I am also grateful about everything I have learned about myself through dealing with this situation.
I did not go through this alone, and that is something to be grateful for.
Ultimately how you process the loss of a relationship is up to you.
I hope you find a way to focus on the positive and remember from pain comes growth.
Keep your head up and let your pain light you a path to better relationships and higher standards.
