c’mon dont text me.
Because if you do Ill text you back.
If you do, Ill come over, with no hesitation.
Kirill Vasilev
Since that dreaded September night that changed everything.
How exhausting its been.
I can still remember every song we danced to that night.
The night you cranked the music from your truck and swung me all around the fire.
It was like a scene from a movie, the spotlight on us, everyone else faded out.
All I could see is you, all I ever see is you.
That night I began falling for you, and never stopped.
Ive never been so in love.
As far as Im concerned, you could live in another country, and I wouldnt have a clue.
Thats how far I want you from my life.
Its not that I dont love you, its that I do.
It feels wrong to sleep anywhere but with you.
It feels wrong to go about my day and not text you updates.
It feels wrong to not wake up to your good morning kisses before work.
Everywhere I go, everything I do, everything feels wrong when I dont have you.
Its not that I dont miss you, its that I do.
Its that I miss you so much I feel like Im suffocating.
Or maybe you do see it, but youve learned to tune me out.
I miss you when Im drinking my morning coffee and not sending you a picture of it.
I miss you when Im getting off work and going home, and driving past your place.
But I dont have that anymore, I dont have you anymore.
Its not that I dont care about you, its that I do.
Its that no matter how many times youve done me wrong, I still want you safe and happy.
No matter the pain youve caused me, I would never want you to feel that way.
No matter what you think of me now, I pray for you, every day.
I pray that you are safe, and you know that youre loved by so many people.
Because I know you struggle with that.
I ask god every day to protect you when I cant.
I do care about you, I do miss you, and I do love you.
That combination is lethal with you and I.
It makes me consider texting you, a hundred times a day.
The only reason you havent heard from me yet, is because I stop myself.
Because as bad as I want to talk to you, I know its wrong.
Because I know someday Ill be okay, even if that day doesnt come for a long time.
like dont text me.
Because if you do Ill text you back.
If you do, Ill come over, with no hesitation.
Ill be starting this entire process over again, and my heart cant take it.
So just, for the love of god, have mercy on my heart, and leave me alone.
