“Just do it already.
You’ve been here long enough,” she said.
I found it by the sidewalk behind my house.
Not on the sidewalk.
The crack was in the air, visible from every direction as I circled around it.
Harmlessly suspended, and nothing more.
Jessica Montgomery
I couldnt touch it.
I wouldnt even walk close to it.
Something about the emptiness just rubbed me the wrong way.
It felt less like something was missing and more like something extra that shouldnt be there.
My family moved shortly after that, and I guess I forgot all about it for awhile.
I asked her to come sit on the roof and look at the sky with me.
I didnt know anything could make me feel so weak.
My legs were trembling, and I remember having to keep switching positions so she wouldnt notice.
Thats when I saw the crack again, and I was reminded how powerful weakness could be.
It was larger now, running along the side of an external AC unit.
you could leave whenever you want, shed said.
I guess she noticed that I was distracted.
I shook my head, prompting her fingers to trace their way up my hand.
Six months and we were engaged, another year and we were married.
Neither of us stayed long at that office, and I never went back up to that roof.
The crack didnt matter.
I got an investment banking job and climbed the corporate ladder.
I started seeing more cracks, but no-one else seemed to notice so I didnt mention them either.
Unless that isnt something you want, hed said, misreading my silence.
Of course you’ve got the option to leave whenever you want.
The same words, but I hadnt recognized the significance yet.
I just smiled and shook his hand, careful to reach underneath the crack hanging between us.
It was another dream come true, and I was king of the world.
My wife and I moved into a big house and we had a baby girl together.
I watched her grow, and watched the cracks grow with her.
Hairline fractures splintered the sky and mapped their web throughout the air.
I had to be careful where I was walking.
There would be a dozen of them in my path within any given day.
I passed through a big one once in my car.
I was changing lanes and didnt notice in time.
Cold doesnt begin to describe it.
I lurched at the wheel and spun off the road into the guard rail.
I started working from home after that.
Ive seen my wife and daughter walk straight through them without the slightest notice.
I cant explain to them what I see and feel because I know theyll think Im crazy.
And maybe I am, but that doesnt change anything.
There were too many of them more every day it seemed like.
The world around me had shattered, and I was the only one to notice.
My daughter was a different story.
And she was right.
I wasnt taking care of my family anymore.
They had enough money put away that they didnt need me to work.
I was just a burden, and just like the cracks, I was growing bigger every day.
I tried pushing myself harder, willing myself through the emptiness it wasnt any good.
I was ready for this to be over.
you could leave whenever you want.
Yes, I told her.
All youve got to do is throw yourself into a big one, she said.
She knew about them?
I jumped up and flung initiate the door.
There she was, standing outside next to the biggest abyss I had ever seen.
A wall of darkness, ten feet across and ripping through the air above like a skyscraper.
Just do it already.
Youve been here long enough, she said.
But I was afraid.
Would there be anything left of me to come out the other side?
It was big enough that I didnt have to come out at all.
I could step in and be gone.
Its what my daughter wanted.
So did my wife, if only she had the courage to admit it.
I tried to stop her.
But she was gone, and there was no choice but to follow.
I was reclining in a padded chair like they have at the dentist office.
Three men were standing over me.
A plethora of beeping machines, IV lines, and heart-rate monitors cluttered the room to either side.
one of the men asked.
You were out for almost an hour.
There was nothing left of me to answer.
We kept sending signals telling you it was okay to leave, another man said.
Didnt you get them?
I closed my eyes and took a long breath.
Its going to be ready for the market soon, they said.
People are going to love it, they said.
Did you notice anything else that needs fixing?
Just in this world, I replied.
