Leo: “Dee.”
Strong, independent, ambitious, talented, and compassionate.
Just a few of the many lies that you tell yourself.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
The only person you love is your frog alter ego.
Youre a huge success in the worst way possible.
Vietnamese sweat shops are just business.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Everything about you is repulsive and you live happily in filth.
But hey, ignorance is bliss.
Sadly, theres a very good chance, you couldnt understand a word of this.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Gemini
Dennis Reynolds
I think one word encapsulates who you are.
Like Dennis, youre extremely vain, addicted to sex, and incredibly irritable.
Cancer
Mac
Much like Mac, youre probably gay.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Your karate skills are unmatched despite your inability to actually defend yourself.
Our undisputed lord and savior Jesus Christ molded you in his image.
This is a fact, much like the fact of creationism.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Also, its not fat its muscle.
Leo
Sweet Dee Reynolds
Strong, independent, ambitious, talented, and compassionate.
Just a few of the many lies that you tell yourself.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Constantly underestimated in whatever group you associate with, you find yourself to be the designated underdog.
Always striving to prove the nay-sayers otherwise, you fail miserably at each painful attempt.
All have ended in utter embarrassment.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Thus meeting the low expectations, that life sets for you.
Virgo
Bonnie Kelly (Charlies Mom)
Seemingly sweet and good hearted.
You care for your loved ones.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Sometimes your love is overbearing but its for the best.
You will do anything to take care of your son, anything includes banging multiple Santas in a row.
Anyone who dares to break your sons heart deserves nothing but the worst (like The Waitress).
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
At times you get overly emotional, can be quite irritable, and you have several irrational fears.
However, you are quite good emotionally manipulating people and getting what you want without working for anything.
Such as alimony payments.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Youd probably spend your money accentuating those pleasant features with plastic surgery.
Much like Maureen, you enjoy self improvement.
Like getting a diamond cap on a dead tooth, or identifying as a cat.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
All forms of self expression and finding the real you.
If milk be the drink of incest, than drink on I suppose.
Sagittarius
Artemis
Like Artemis, you are open to anything.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
And, you make an effort letting everyone know about your sexual endeavors.
You fail to remember most evenings.
You have very little friends, but youre a damn good waitress.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Aquarius
Bill Ponderosa
Youre a failure in all aspects.
Knowing all of this however, you make no effort to improve your lifestyle.
Pisces
Rickety Cricket
Without a doubt, youre probably the most gullible fool on the planet.
Its pathetic to witness your deterioration into insanity.
Like Rickety Cricket, you probably started out in an equally respected and noble career.
