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Updated 2 weeks ago,April 12, 2025
Crying babies.
Preteens reigning over vomit-strewn wastelands.
The absence of the rule of law.
Warner Bros.
Is thisLord of the Flies?
No, its a theater in Wasilla, Alaska during a showing ofA Minecraft Movie.
In many cases, police have gotten involved.
And yet, the movie has been Hollywoods first resounding success of 2025, despite lacking any compelling story.
Thats not the case.
While preteen gamers would beg to differ, most critics and adults have leftMinecraftscreenings disappointed.
The movie has a47% on Rotten Tomatoes.
But studio heads dontreallycare about quality at the end of day.
They care about Benjamins.
They care about their next superyacht.
They care about their continued ability toIndecent Proposalwhenever they feel like it.
Thats where the existential problems arise.
Explaining this further would be pointless.
However, it has also apparently encouraged acts of vandalism.
In New Jersey, one theater has implemented astrict new policybanning unaccompanied minors fromMinecraftscreenings.
Honestly, this kind of rowdiness isnt much of a problem.
Preteens gonna preteen, and no one wants to be the Fun Police.
Plus, its great that the movie is encouraging audience participation.
Endorphin-inducing highs are delivered fast and loose through easy jokes, pop culture references and fan service moments.
Theres no such thing as a slow burn or a satisfying emotional payoff.
Perhaps most damningly, you could zone out without missing anything.
And now we can expect more of that.
Are theaters going to become more fun and interactive?
More pressingly, will such shifts even save movies?
The future of moviemaking is looking dire and all because of an angry baby zombie on a chicken.
