Well, not in the way youd assume.
Traveling almost an hour both to and from the dermatologists office every week consumed fourteen and fifteen.
The smell of Vaseline remind me so much of these years, it was my saving grace.
Fourteen and fifteen meant sleepless school nights and anxiety ridden school mornings.
Fifteen felt a twisted sense of pride and accomplishment.
I was the biggest project my dermatologists had ever seen.
I became thankful for science and amazed at the multitude of treatments offered to me.
Treatments were consistent and had worked to the best of their abilities.
I made it through fourteen and fifteen.
Sixteen began by meeting a new dermatologist in a different state across the country.
She showed wounds that looked just like mine and described symptoms identical to mine.
Sixteen was flabbergasted at not only the timing of this episode, but the knowledge Dr. Jessen shared.
The sound of spring-loaded syringes rings in my ears each time injection day arrives.
Seventeen was spent resenting Hidradenitis Suppurativa and being discouraged by the lack of information online.
The memories of my pain and experiences rotate constantly in the back of my mind like clockwork.
I wish fourteen and fifteen were different.
Its frustrating to be mad at the skin that covers me and the cells that make up my body.
Its unfair knowing that my body is different from everyone elses.
Its odd and daunting learning how to be comfortable in my own skin.
Its hard fighting to be seen for the person I am rather than the wounds I have.
Its tiring to battle a disease that my body perpetuates.
Twenty-one is dedicated to expressing gratitude and implementing grace.
I want year twenty-one to be about forgiveness, strength and resilience.
Since I was diagnosed with Hidradenitis Suppurativa, healing has been my most desired goal.
The team of my dermatologists and nurses who worked tirelessly to fix my difficult circumstances deserve nothing but grace.
Hidradenitis Suppurativa does not define me in a negative way.
In fact, my HS empowers me.
Hidradenitis Suppurativa gives me the chance to be the person now that I needed when I was younger.
Hidradenitis Suppurativa, I forgive you.
