My HS journey started back in 2010, when I was just 13-years-old.
A painful bump had appeared in my groin area.
I had quite bad cystic acne at the time so I put it down to that.
Of course, it wasnt something I shared with another soul as I was so embarrassed.
It destroyed my body image entirely.
Around this age, I also developed quite bad depression and anxiety and very poor body image issues.
I felt like a freak and I was so jealous of the other normal girls.
At this age, you start to think about your future and finding a boyfriend.
I cringed at the thought as nobody would ever want me, I thought I looked diseased.
The dermatologist looked confused and asked to see them, and I reluctantly showed her.
When I got home, I googled HS and I thought there is no way I have this.
It sounded much too bleak and I continued to ignore it until I couldnt any longer.
I decided to research more, and I found out there is no cure.
This was devastating, and sent my depression worse.
I began drinking heavily every weekend if not more to escape my reality.
I tried a gluten-free diet, dairy-free diet… nothing worked.
I was at my wits end.
I kept doing this destructive cycle right up until 2020.
The pain I felt from this underarm abscess was unbearable.
It was nothing like I was used to.
This continued until September.
I had two abscesses that were worse than anything I had ever experienced.
My doctor sent me to the hospital, and I was taken under general anesthesia to get them lanced.
I had another surgery under local anesthetic two weeks later, and something in me clicked.
I vowed to make the most of my life and seize every moment.
I also reconnected with old friends who coincidentally had recently gotten sober too.
It was like it was written in the stars.
I toyed with quitting drinking and improving my life before but this time was different.
I spent so many years hating myself because of HS so I decided to change the narrative.
I now thank my HS for shaping me into the woman I am today.
I have also decided to go back to college to become a mental health nurse.
I believe this would not be possible without HS.
It isnt all so bad.
