It only took eight dates before I fell in love with him.
And ten dates for me to lose my virginity.
By
Updated 6 years ago,December 5, 2018
I have a confession to make.
Brittani Louise Taylor
In 2015, I was 31 and still not in the sexually active club.
It might have been because of my soul-shattering teenage acne, which followed me into my 20s.
And my chastity wasnt purely by choice.
Growing up in the small tourist town of Sedona, Arizona, opportunities were limited.
The population mostly consisted of wealthy retirees or transient hippies.
College for me wasnt much better.
Still the drama nerd with acne, I threw myself into plays.
Stories about other peoples lives, instead of truly living my own.
Much rejection and heartache ensued in the years that followed.
Too busy pursuing a near impossible career, I kept putting my social life on the back burner.
Soon my cinema dreams turned into digital ones.
Maybe I felt like I needed to be successful before I was worthy of finding a lasting relationship.
I remember when online dating was taboo.
Nowadays, not meeting your partner online is becoming rarer and rarer.
Joining Tinder, I made up for lost time.
I was kind of a dating whore.
Swiping and matching, lunching and flirting.
Looking for Mr.Right became another full-time job.
I went through a few boyfriends, disappointing breakups until I finally swiped right on Milos.
Not to be shallow, but Milos was hot.
Hot in a ridiculously toned, Chris Hemsworth kind of way.
His accent was sexy and mysterious, and he had an English Bulldog named Lui.
I was a smitten kitten.
Even with the physical attraction, there was something in my gut.
Something in my natural instincts that kept sending off warning bells.
It only took eight dates before I fell in love with him.
And ten dates for me to lose my virginity.
His faith in us and our future was contagious.
For him, it was love at first sight.
He came on strong, and fast, and with a commendable tenacity.
It didnt help that his traditional European mother wanted her son back in Serbia.
Why are you choosing this girl, when there a plenty back home?
First, his parents cut him off financially.
Gone, his leased Black Lexus, apartment in Beverly Hills and another luxury home in San Diego.
Upon my offering, Milos and Lui became my unpaid roommates and thus started my full financial support.
Before I knew it, I was bankrolling a majority of their needs.
A new car lease, veterinary bills, a debit card linked to my checking account.
His family had also cut Milos off emotionally, refusing to speak him except in anger or disappointment.
Photos, texts, emails, proof of their relationship which he vehemently denied.
What juicy information did she have, that she thought she could use against Milos?
He was already married.
Talk about the shock of my life.
Even then, I didnt leave him.
Even when he became more and more verbally abusive, I made up excuses for his behavior.
Finding out I was pregnant in March of 2016, I was thoroughly trapped.
My view of an ideal pregnancy was skewed.
Having to sell my house broke my heart first.
He didnt move out by choice, he was forced out.
With the birth of our precious baby, I started to wake up.
His confession of his familys mafia connections didnt help his case.
The physical abuse was the nail on our relationship coffin.
Who had I become?
What I found out after I left him chilled me to the core.
And this wasnt even the half of it.
I wanted so desperately to find love, to be loved, that I had settled.
Your dreams are valuable.
Your goals and ambitions are just as important as any relationship.
You cant force something, and you especially cant force the timing.
And the mistakes you do make, learn from them and move on.
I lost my virginity, my first home, my friends, my career, my trust.
