This was my reality.
I had about five of these bumps in both of my armpits, and they weresopainful.
It truly felt like my skin started reacting and the bumps appeared overnight.
God & Man
Appointment after appointment, I feared Id never get an answer.
One doctor said it was because of the bras I wore.
Another chalked it up to bad acne and told me to shower more often.
Another thought it was MRSA, even though my tests for that came back negative.
Turns out I have a skin disease in the autoimmune family: Hidradenitis Suppurativa, or HS for short.
A skin disease like HS can be utterly embarrassing, causing both emotional and physical pain.
Because it can be fairly effortless to hide, most people living with it are suffering in silence.
Id go years without a single flare up, and then all of a sudden have three at once.
Getting diagnosed with Hidradenitis Suppurativa was earth-shattering, yet also comforting in a roundabout way.
Dont get me wrong being told you have an incurable illness is not easy to hear.
It took a few weeks to set in, quite honestly.
And even longer to know what living with an incurable illness really even meant.
At the same time as the initial shock, I finally had a name for my condition.
It wasnt just sensitive skin and awful ingrown hairs.
It wasnt because I wore bras with underwire in them or didnt shower fast enough after a workout.
Most importantly, I knew for sure that it wasnt my fault.
We can be our own worst critics; for years I blamed myself for these bumps.
phase, I let that moment of clarity guide me.
My pain now had a name and that in and of itself was assuring.
Knowing I had a condition totally out of my control and apart from my own doing?
And it simultaneously ignited a flame inside of me Id lost for a very long time.
For some reason, having a name for my illness made me feel seen.
And gave me the answers I needed to feel empowered to take action and begin healing.
No longer was I worried about what was causing these painful lesions.
No longer did I feel like I was the only one living with this.
But instead, I became part of a small-but-mighty community full of warriors.
Because you see, thats the thing.
We cant control how we feel about things.
We certainly cant control living with an incurable illness.
We can only control how we live our lives and what we do each day to feel better.
Suddenly, I was in charge again.
Nearly two years post-diagnosis, Ive never been more confident.
I move my body because I know daily movement is good for me.
I stay hydrated and avoid excess sugar and alcohol.
I use skin care products recommended by my dermatologist.
Most importantly, I pay attention to how I feel.
I nurture my mind along with my body and its done wonders for my HS.
In just two years, Ive gone from about 15 bumps at once to the occasional one or two.
Not every struggle needs a name.
If it werent for my HS diagnosis, Id be lost.
But because of my HS diagnosis, I know Im a warrior who can get through any battle.
