Take back the power from your ex and recognize your role in what happened.
Perhaps you are telling yourself that you are the victim in all of this.
Let me explain why.
Brooke Cagle
I couldnt believe that my marriage of 18 years was over.
And, believe me, the instinct to curl up in a ball and give up was strong.
And to be honest, I did for a while.
And then I met a woman who had already been through a divorce and she changed my life.
She told me that it was important to pick my head up and figure out how to move forward.
She encouraged me to keep talking and being honest with my kids about what was going on.
And she encouraged me to love myself in spite of the fact that my soon-to-be ex no longer did.
These things she taught me were the best things I ever learned.
More than anything, I wanted to just give up.
Instead of waiting for my ex to file for divorce, I did it.
You will be able to make change.
We had a family and history and had made vows, and he had just walked away.
I never talked to my husband about what I was feeling, instead only complaining to my friends.
I took for granted that he would always be with me, no matter how I treated him.
None of these things were okay.
And then I realized I cant change him, but I can change myself.
So, I did.
I set out to learn everything about myself and everything about what a healthy relationship looks like.
I learned about the importance of communication and honesty and empathy and forgiveness.
How lucky am I?
You will be in control of your emotions.
He no longer respected her as a person and was happy to share that with all of their friends.
Your relationship involved two people and its demise did too.
Finding your next person will be easier.
That was the only date that I almost walked out of.
Who wants to get involved with someone who is broken by someone else?
So take back the power from your ex and recognize your role in what happened.
You will win the breakup.
With that concept in mind, lets talk about the person who is playing the victim.
The person who lays on the couch eating ice cream and never showering.
The person who talks to anyone who will listen to them about how they were wronged.
The person who calls their ex over and over and over, begging for a second chance.
The person who hates themselves for being left behind.
Do you think that you will be truly happy if this is what your life looks like?
Do you think that the people around you will see you as happy?
Do you think your ex will regret leaving you?
I think the answers to all of those questions is no.
So, pick your head up and look ahead, not back.
Dont let any ex hold you back.
You will have officially won!
Playing the victim after your breakup is not uncommon.
When the heart is suffering, the brain will do anything to venture to ease the pain.
So get yourself up off your couch of self-pity and take back your power.
I know because I did and today I am happy.
