If you have not, then God bless you!
However, if you have, then this article is for you.
At the tender age of twelve, my HS journey began.
Nesrin Danan
By the age of 15, I started to experience significant, chronic abscesses and crippling pain.
It was then I knew that I needed medical attention.
I was officially diagnosed with a rare skin disease called Hidradenitis Suppurativa, also referred to as HS.
HS is an incurable autoimmune skin disease.
Not only did this disease affect me physically, but it affected me emotionally and mentally as well.
I have clear and vivid memories of that first doctors visit.
This was the first of four painful procedures to follow in 3 weeks.
Yes, you read this correctly, I said 4.
The scars that were left behind looked horrific, and I experienced severe depression and anxiety.
I remember just looking at my body in the mirror, staring at my dark, almost black scars.
I no longer recognized myself, and this was all just too hard to accept.
My HS had taken over, and it had won!
At least thats what I thought then.
For years, I have allowed my scars to define me and label me as damaged.
Sadly, for a long time, I couldnt look at my body and call it beautiful.
I would stare through tears and think about what my future husband would say about my marks.
Would he see my imperfect body and still love all of me?
Would he see my leaking wounds or walk away in disgust?
What would my future children ask about their mom?
Would they be afraid of her bandages and scars left behind?
Would they be diagnosed with this disease and live out my reality as well?
My thoughts and past trauma have haunted me.
However, it was not until recently that I decided to change my perspective.
This is my body.
I could either spend all of my life hiding or be honest and bold with my truth.
Is my body model or social media ready?
I choose to treat my wounds with love rather than treating them with sorrow.
My scar story tells an ongoing dialogue of my strength, resilience, and faith.
Your perspective is what will make the difference between HS owning you or you owning your HS.
I recommend daily words of affirmation, scripture, digging into your faith, and loving who God created.
This has helped me tremendously.
