Spend too much money on sparkly things that promise to make you feel beautiful.
Buy red lipstick even thought it doesn’t make you look like Marilyn Monroe.
Buy more highlighters because no one will know you’re suffering if you’re glowing and shining right?
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Updated 8 years ago,September 6, 2017
Make your bed up every day.
Turn your room into a spa, and into your sacred space.
Turn it into a magical land where nothing goes wrong.
Into a space of slumber.
Go on Amazon after a mediocre day and order an aromatherapy diffuser so your friends think youre happy.
Order different essential oils.
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One will be named breathe right.
Laugh because youve forgotten how to breathe and its been so long since youve had the chance to exhale.
Take Instagram pictures of trees that make you dizzy when you think of how tall they are.
Take pictures of your new hair color and promise yourself that this is the start of something big.
Spend too much money on sparkly things that promise to make you feel beautiful.
Buy red lipstick even thought it doesnt make you look like Marilyn Monroe.
Buy more highlighters because no one will know youre suffering if youre glowing and shining right?
Stay up until 3 am.
Not because you want to, but because your mind wont turn off.
Pretend that its a good thing.
That maybe youll do more work now!
Write a mediocre article an hour later.
Youre chill and calm and collected.
You have it so together.
At least thats what you tell yourself.
To keep the monsters at bay.
But deep down you know, youre not the chill girl.
You never will be.
Lavender makes you sneeze.
White sheets and pillowcases get stained so easily.
You make your bed but sometimes thats all you’re free to do in a day.
You take your pills and you will them to take this anxiety away from your head.
To take this constant rush of traffic out of your mind.
Close your eyes and make a run at think of good thoughts.
Of apple picking and pumpkin spice lattes.
Think of your accomplishments and all that you have gotten through.
Toss and turn and turn some more.
Know that you are loved.
Know that you arent alone.
Look forward to your next therapist appointment.
Look forward to unboxing and unloading all this heaviness off of your chest.
Look forward to Australia.
To a better day tomorrow.
Know that this is only a day.
That this is only a week or two, or a month or even a year.
But it is only temporary.
Youll get better at this life thing soon enough.
