The excuse has to be a believable prior commitment or external force that is preventing you from going out.
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Updated 8 years ago,June 12, 2017
Its 9PM.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket.
Unsplash / Aidan Meyer
What are you up to tonight?
I know you dont want to go out.
You know you dont want to go out.
Unsplash / Aidan Meyer
Even your friends know you dont want to go out.
Why did you end up going out despite clearly not wanting to?
And more importantly, how do you get out of going out?
Why you go out when you dont want to go out:
1.
Does this text conversation look familiar?
What are you up to tonight?
Nick
Not much, probably staying in, pretty tired.
You
Nah, youre going out.
I think Im probably just going to watch some TV.
You
Come on, I never see you!
Nick
Instant guilt torpedo.
This missile can come in different forms such as:
Its Drews birthday so were going out to celebrate!
Emily is in town so were going to hit some bars!
Jake managed to not drink for a week so were going to celebrate with some heavy drinking!
What kind of friend would you be to miss [insert important occasion here]?
You briefly imagine your next birthday party completely empty before grabbing your jacket and heading out the door.
You dont want to bethatguy.
You now who doesnt go out?
Shes always tired or not feeling it or with her boyfriend.
Oh, she said she was going to stay in tonight, someone else responds.
Every friend group hasthatguywho never shows up.
His excuses are never convincing and he clearly couldnt be bothered to leave his apartment.
You just want to stay in tonight, not be a social pariah for the rest of your life.
FOMO (Fear of missing out).
You actually want to see your friends.
You like your friends.
Thats why theyre your friends.
If you dont like your friends, you have bigger issues than whats covered in this article.
So you actually want to see your friends.
The problem is the whole going out portion attached to seeing your friends right now.
Hanging out means going out.
How to avoid going out:
So how can you actually get out of going out?
Here are some practical strategies to not go out:
1.
I generally hate going out but there are times when it is inevitable.
When these forced occasions strike take advantage of them.
Text everyone you know, see what they are up to, and invite them to hang out.
Try and see as many people as possible while doing your Im-so-fun-Im-going-out tour.
Next time they invite you out, you’re able to decline knowing that they declined last time.
Yes, but I cant make it until midnight.
You dont want to go out.
The problem is that you cant predict the future.
Thats why you’re gonna wanna plan ahead.
If people are pounding tequila shots, you want to consider starting to get changed.
Size of the Group 4 to 6 people is the ideal group size for a crazy night.
Any larger and the group becomes too cumbersome.
Any smaller and people actually make smart decisions.
Group Dynamics Nothing encourages wild nights more than the right key in of people.
If there are lots of couples in the group, the night will likely be tame.
Based off your monitoring, youll be able to make a more informed decision about needing to go out.
Speaking of which…
3.
Have a list of good excuses ready.
For a while my roommate was doing an online MBA.
Whenever someone asked him to go out he would say that he couldnt because of schoolwork.
Some of the times this was true emphasis on some.
He never becamethat guy.
Karen becamethat guybecause Karens excuses were weak.
So before you respond to that invitation with Im tired, think about your words.
See if there is another excuse you’re able to use.
Always have some good excuses on hand to get out of plans.
The key to the perfect excuse is believable and short-term (aka BS).
The excuse has to be abelievableprior commitment or external force that is preventing you from going out.
The excuse also has to beshort-termand easily reversed if necessary (should you change your mind).
Dont give any indication that you saw the text and dont pick up the inevitable subsequent call.
You feel really sorry and hope they had a fun time.
Conclusion:
Are these strategies morally questionable?
Am I completely serious about these tactics because I use them in my personal life on a semi-daily basis?
