Lewis said, If you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly.
But it’s still worth it.
The thing is, though, Van Gogh wasnt wrong.
Christopher Campbell
Dare to love and youre going to suffer.
Its true in every relationship.
Because,everyrelationship ofeverytype eventually comes to an end.
Maybe your beguiling new beaupulls a Jack Berger and breaks up with you on a Post-it.
Maybe you come home from work and discover divorce papers next to the dinner plates.
Maybe you and your partner go for aGwyneth-like conscious uncoupling.
Yes, its a cold, hard fact of life.
At some point, no matter what, youll need toget over someone you love.
Its a tricky business isnt it?
So,how do you get over someone you love?Well, I believe you never truly do.
Anyone you love will be forever etched into the pathways of your hippocampus.
The question is: How do you heal your aching heart and open yourself up to new love?
When you got a heartache, there aint nothin you might do.
Only the passage of time can fully heal an aching heart.
Psychologists call this trauma bonding, which takes place if a victim becomes biologically attached to their abusive partner.
If youre trying to get over someone, see your relationship for what it really was.
Was it a mature and loving union that ended amicably?
Or, was it a toxic, chaotic mess that made you miserable?
Get brutally honest with yourself.
When your mind tries to trick you into remembering just the good times, dont let it.
Maybe you think that youll never meet anyone as beautiful asshewas.
Or that youll never find a man who makes you laugh likehedid.
Or that true love and happiness just arent in the cards for you.
Believe me, I know what youre going through.
But, for Gods sake, get a grip.
There are millionsof sexy motherfuckers out there who are better for you than your ex.
And, theyre just waiting for you to saunter up and say hi.
To move on from someone you love, you must reclaim that part of your identity.
And, this is a good thing.
See your break-up for what it can be a catalyst for positive change and profound growth.
Reconnect with old friends.
Immerse yourself in the things that bring you joy and excitement.
And, while youre at it, take some time to identify your needs and define your boundaries.
Your next relationship will be a hell of a lot better for it.
But, this may not be the case.
And, dont just take it from me (although, I speak from experience).
Take it from Walter Mischel, one of the most widely cited psychologists of the 20th century.
Are you repeatedly bringing up your failed relationship in conversation?
How long has it been since it ended?
Its probably time to shut the fuck up about it.
If you dont stop scratching it, it is going to continue to itch and may become infected.
The average woman will have five.
No, Van Gogh wasnt wrong when he said the more you love, the more you suffer.
But, he also said, Love always brings difficulties, that is true.
But, the good side of it is that it gives you energy.
Lewis said, If you love deeply, youre going to get hurt badly.
But its still worth it.
So, dare to love.
